A disaster waiting to happen
by Tetrahex
Summary: It starts with Zoro steering the Sunny and somehow gets to the Warlords and then the Supernovas playing truth or dare. Doflamingo's a flirt, Law and Killer are traumatized, and Moriah's still fat! Just know that despite Zoro steering, no one dies. Somehow... Truth or dare! Awkwardness! Bad humor! Smut! Whoopie!
1. Chapter 1: Why Zoro Shouldn't Steer

**Disclaimer! I do NOT own One Piece! If I did would I be here writing fanfiction about it? Actually, ya. Ya I would be.**

 **Warning: Rated for language, some good smutty stuff in the later chapters, my bad sense of humor, and Doflamingo.**

 **All pairings that will be mentioned here (just to be safe): JohnnyxYosaku – SanjixZoro - LuffyxNami, LuffyxZoro - MihawkxShanks - AcexLuffy - MihawkxZoroxShanks (smut of that one :3) - CrocodilexDoflamingo (Smut of this one too) – DoflamingoxMihawk – BoaxLuffy – KidxLaw (smut!) – BasilxDrake (Might be smut of that one) – KillerxKid (Most likely smut of this one XD) – CaesarxLaw (Yes I went there) – and probably more that I forgot to list!**

 **Enjoy! (Humor will –probably- get better later on!)**

* * *

"How the hell did we end up on this island?" A confused and obviously lost as usual Zoro asked as he sat up and looked around. "YOU IDIOT!" Nami shrieked from behind him, hitting him on the head with her climate baton. "DON'T YOU REMEMBER WHAT YOU DID?!"

 **-(Flashback)-**

Zoro was at the wheel of the Thousand Sunny, steering the ship. Why was he doing that? No one knows, maybe The Straw Hats had a death wish. In the meantime everyone else in the crew was doing their own thing, even Nami. Go supervise Zoro, Nami!

Luffy was in the kitchen doing everything he could to ensure that the crew wouldn't have any more food and die of starvation and his stupidity before they had reached the next island. (For about the 100th time)

Sanji had given up on stopping his captain and decided to go pester, uh, I mean convince Nami to get a lock. He would never pester a lady. Of course he had been distracted by a sunbathing/reading Robin which had slowed him down a bit as he stared and nosebleeded. After realizing that if he lost any more blood he'd die, (Chopper had run out of his blood time way back on Fishman Island) he left with a goofy grin on his face and hearts in his eyes.

Going downstairs to Nami's room he knocked on the door and waited for her to answer. After getting no response he started panicking.

"Oh no! What if my beautiful Nami has gotten hurt and is waiting for me to save her?! Don't worry, Nami~! I'm coming~!" With that he threw open her door and froze. His beautiful, elegant, sexy, Nami was soaking in a tub, covered in bubbles. Blood shot from his nose, his eyes and cigarette smoke turned to hearts, his actual heart tried to tear itself out of chest and he…..fainted.

Nami's shriek woke the dead.

Brook sat up from the nap he had been taken in the crow's nest before being awoken by some unearthly scream. He yawned and stretched before grabbing his pimp cane and top hat. Setting the cap on his head he laughed lightheartedly, even though he didn't have a heart in the first place.

"Yohohohoho! Looks like I fell asleep and we're now drifting towards and island in the middle of the night and no one knows!"

He was just about to fall asleep again when he realized what he had just said and screamed.

"Aaaaahhhhh! We're headed for an Island! We're all going to crash and die! But, you know, I AM already dead."

He resumed panicking.

Nami looked up from where she was dragging an unconscious Sanji up the stairs (hitting his head purposely on them, the pervert) and joined Brook in his panicking.

"Oh no we're going to crash! Zoro, hurry up and turn us around!"

"Don't worry, it's just a mirage!" Zoro called back down to her as she raised a skeptical eyebrow. To trust the Zoro or not to trust the Zoro?

"Just to be safe lets go around-"

She was interrupted as 2 blurs tackled Zoro.

"Big Bro Zoro!" The 1st blur shouted as the other just cried in happiness.

"J-Jonny? Yosaku?" Zoro stammered as the blurs materialized. He didn't fall to the ground, but in his attempt to keep standing he jerked the wheel to the side.

A big mistake.

Yosaku lost his balance and fell right on top of Johnny in a….suggestive position. You know, while kissing, so it kinda made it look worse. A little heart floated up between the two and they broke apart, coughing and spiting.

No one really payed attention to the ship, which was heading head on towards the island. Not until it crashed, anyway.

Sanji, Zoro, and Luffy landed headfirst in the sand, all 3 receiving more than generous mouthfuls. Franky, Brook, and Chopper landed up a tree, then chopper fell off because everyone knows you can't hang on to a tree with hooves. Nami and Robin landed in the mud and Usopp quickly followed. This time, Johnny landed on Yosaku in what seemed like an intentional move and yet another little heart floated up between them.

 **-(End Flashback)-**

"Oh, right." Zoro muttered as he rubbed the back of his head where Nami had hit him seconds before.

"YOU FREAKING RETARD!" Nami shrieked again, hitting Zoro in the same spot as before. "You're as dumb as Luffy…"

"Hey!" Ok now, that was just insulting. Maybe he was bad at steering a ship but that didn't mean that he- Zoro's train of thought was derailed as Sanji tried to kick the swordsman in the face.

Zoro drew one of his swords and countered, hissing, "What the hell is your problem, shitty cook?!" at Sanji.

"You shouldn't speak to a lady that way, stupid moss head!" Sanji spat back.

They were about to go all out (and probably destroy half the island) before Robin sprouted arms on Sanji to hold him back and Luffy wrapped himself around Zoro's arms and legs to stop him from moving. (At all)

"Let me go!" They shouted in unison and glared at each other, trying to get free from their bonds.

Robing winked at Luffy (Sanji thought she was winking at him and nosebleeded once again) and Luffy grinned right back.

"Quit nosebleeded during a fight, shitty cook." Zoro said, right before Luffy and Robin let go and the 2 men crashed together and fell to the ground in a tangled heap.

It was right about then that Johnny and Yosaku showed up and stared at the scene before them.

"People have a bad habit of falling on each other around your crew; don't they, Big Bro Luffy?" Johnny muttered, giving Zoro a sideways glance, earning him a glare from the already super pissed off swordsman.

Luffy scratched his head and looked at Johnny with a puzzled look. "What do you mean? Who fell on who?"

Yosaku and Johnny sweatdropped. "Never mind." They said quickly, both turning slightly red. Better not to have to explain.

Zoro raised an eyebrow at the 2 but said nothing as he tried to untangle himself from Sanji. Oh if only you could see the position they were in and how much worse Zoro had just made it.

Sanji was under Zoro, one of his arms above his head, the other held out to the side. His kicking leg was bent up and his legs had been spread apart by the impact of the fall. Zoro was on his hands and knees above the cook, the hand not holding his sword was stuck holding Sanji's hand above his head. (He couldn't move it unless he wanted to fall on Sanji's chest) His knee was awkwardly positioned between the blonde's legs and there was a flush across both of their faces.

Nami quickly took out a camera and started snapping pictures, intending to sell them later.

"So that's the way you swing, eh, moss head?" Sanji joked, trying to wiggle out of Zoro's grip. "You can let go now, dumbass."

Zoro rolled his eyes and stood up, sheathing his sword and walking away.

"Where are you going, Zoro?" Luffy asked.

"To make a fire. It's dark and I don't feel like sleeping in some unknown place in the dark just because we couldn't find the Sunny."

Robin nodded in agreement. "It's a good idea, but I don't think you can light a fire in the water, swordsman." She pointed out with a giggle.

The swordsman looked down at the water covering his knees and cursed, turning a 360 to start walking back onto the island and into the forest when a wave tackled him from behind. (Wave: Zoro-sempai, love meh!) He was pitched face first into the sand, AGAIN.

"Yohohohoho!"

A laugh came from the forest. Brook, Franky, Chopper, and Usopp came walking out from behind the trees.

"Good show, dear swordsman! You really SHOULD become a comedian!"

Zoro grumbled various curses and death threats into the sand. They all sounded something like: "Adjfgimgonnaigs owbkillsigfbsid Yusvdojsbu!" It wasn't scary.

"I have now become a great warrior of the sea!" Usopp declared and everyone groaned. "There was a huge beast in the woods and I, Captain Usopp-"

"Gag point!" Chopper shouted, turning into a little thing that Franky picked up and shoved into Usopp's mouth. "Shut up dude, no one cares." The blue haired man said.

 **-(Time skip brought to you by Doflamingo's coat)-**

The Straw Hats sat around a small fire that they had managed to make. Since they were total losers at making fired it took them at least a few hours.

Eeeeeveeentuuualllly they realized that instead of rubbing 2 sticks together and praying to Eneru for a bolt of lightning to hit the sticks and magically set them on fire, Franky could just blow fire and be done with it.

Once they figured THAT out and got a fire going it was about 9:00. Then it started raining.

The Straw Hats had to go out AGAIN, **and** look for dry wood AGAIN, **and** prevent it from getting wet, **and** all that bullshit. By the time they got the SECOND fire going another hour had passed.

Now they all sat around the fire when Luffy announced: "I'm bored."

"Well what do you want to do?" Usopp asked with an eye roll.

"Lets play 'kill the Sanji.'"

"Lets play 'kill the Zoro.'"

Nami hit the 2 on the back of their heads and grinned.

"I have a great idea!" She said happily. "Lets play truth or dare!"

The evil part of her mind was laughing, (evilly) rubbing it's hands together and thinking, _'I can get Zoro and Sanji to do more embarrassing things together and since I have a camera I can take pictures, sell them, AND GET RICH!'_

"N-N-Nami, you're making a scary face...!" Chopper whimpered, hiding behind Usopp.

"Don't worry, that's her 'I'm gonna get rich face.'" Franky assured the little, err, was he a raccoon? Franky forgot.

"ALL RIGHT!" Luffy shouted. "I LOVE TRUTH OR DARE! Ace and I used to play it with grandpa all the time! Ace did make me do some weird stuff though... He once dared me to-!"

"No!" The crew shouted in unison. "We don't want to know!"

Luffy shrugged. "Ok." He said plainly before stretching his arm out and grabbing a bottle all the way from the beach. There was a little piece of paper inside that the captain ignored out of anticipation of playing truth or dare with his crew.

They all sat in a circle and Zoro took the bottle, got the little piece of paper out, and spun it. As it was spinning he quickly read the paper and threw it away. "Just a call for help, unimportant."

The bottle landed on Sanji and Zoro grinned evilly.

Sanji actually paled.

"Truth or dare?" The swordsman asked. This was gonna be good.

"Truth!" "Coward. Anyway, where were you these past 2 years?" Zoro had a little feeling that he knew EXACTLY where the blonde had went, and if he was right...

"Training on..." Sanji didn't want to continue. Not with the stereotypes on that island. "Maiden Island with Queen Iva..."

The crew burst out laughing. (Minus Luffy who had no idea what that place was.)

"Training to do what, shitty cook, cross-dress?"

"Yohoho~! I didn't know you swung that way, Sanji!"

"Swing what way? I've never see Sanji swing on anything! Not even a vine." (Stupid Luffy. They really should teach him about this one day.)

"And I thought **I** landed on a bad island! Never fear, Captain Usopp wont make fun of you!" He snickered. "Much!"

"Oh shut up, all of you!" Sanji growled as he took the bottle and spun it. After a few rotations it landed on Usopp.

"Truth or-"

"Truth."

"Bunch of cowards..." Zoro muttered.

"Have you ever daydreamed about another member of the crew?"

"I dreamed that we were all on the Merry Go again!" Usopp said, promptly bursting into tears.

They waited for him to calm down before he spun the bottle and it landed on Zoro.

"Tr-"

"Dare."

Usopp fell silent for a second before saying, "Add 'in bed' to every sentence someone says, no exceptions." and looked smug.

Zoro's mouth fell open. Oh lord have mercy.

Everyone fell silent as to spare Zoro from a few sentences of awkwardness.

The swordsman quickly grabbed and spun the bottle, which landed on Luffy.

"Truth or dare? (In bed.)"

"Dare!" ("In bed.")

"Glad to see were not all cowards here. I dare you to go kiss Nami."

Sanji's eyes shot open.

"In bed."

The cook fainted.

Luffy walked over to Nami and kissed her on the cheek in an innocent fashion. (Awww! So adorable!)

"You're an awesome navigator, Nami!"

"In bed."

Franky spit out his cola.

Luffy spun the bottle and it landed on Robin.

"Truth or dare?" ("In bed.")

"Truth." ("In bed.")

"Did you enjoy helping Franky join the crew?"

"I-In bed..."

Franky turned a scary shade of green, pulled out a paper bag from who knows where, and started hyperventilating.

"Well it certainly was funny." ("In bed.") Robin laughed softly and spun the bottle. This time it landed on Brook.

"Truth or dare, Brook?" ("In bed.")

"Hmm...Dare!" ("In bed.")

"Oh, I'd rather not have one involving a bed! I'm a skeleton, I wouldn't be able to do anything!"

"In bed."

"Exactly!" ("In bed.")

"I dare you to...use Sanji as a couch." ("In bed.")

Brook stood up, grabbed his pimp cane, and sat on Sanji with a grin. Or whatever skeletons do when they try to grin.

Brook spun the bottle and it landed on Chopper.

"Truth or dare, little reindeer?" ("In bed.")

"Oh no! I'm scared..." ("In bed.")

Someone laughed nervously.

"Um, um, um... Da- I mean truth, TRUTH!" ("In bed.")

"Where did YOU go during those two years?" ("In bed.")

"Some awful island where the birds are huge and they rule over humans and they tried to cook me!" ("In bed.")

Sanji woke up and eyed Brook, wondered why the hell the skeleton was sitting on him.

"Oh you're awake, dear Sanji! You were very comfortable!"

"In bed."

Nami snorted, Brook laughed, Sanji blushed, and Zoro smirked.

Chopper took the bottle nervously, dropped it, picked it up again, and spun it until it landed on Zoro.

"Truth or dare, Zoro?" ("In bed.")

"Truth. (In bed.)" Zoro said, not wanting to risk anything just yet.

"Where were you these past 2 years? I really want to know where everyone went!" ("In bed.")

"I trained with Dracule Mihawk." Zoro realized what he had said and his eyes shot open. Sanji snickered and covered his mouth as Zoro managed to stutter: "I-I-In b-bed..."

They lost it.

All of the Straw Hats (Minus Luffy and Chopper who were pretty innocent, and Zoro who looked like he was going to kill everyone) were rolling on the ground, laughing hysterically as tears streamed out their eyes.

In the trees, the person watching them raised a quizzical (And kinda mad) eyebrow.

"I'll bet it was fun training with Mihawk!" Luffy grinned unknowingly.

"In bed..."

More hysterical rounds of laughter.

"I-I'm dying...!" Sanji gasped, tears rolling down his cheeks, hand pounding the ground. "This is priceless! Hey Zoro, did Mihawk let you train with...that giant sword of his?"

"In bed..." Zoro choked out, turning red with shame.

* * *

The figure in the trees held out his transponder snail as far out as he could without falling off his branch and breaking his face open.

The snail's face was frowning as much as it could without snapping it's facial muscles; which was a lot, surprisingly. Kinda made it look like the mouth was trying to rip away and live its own life.

"These Straw Hats are so vulgar." The voice came from the facially challenged snail.

"Remind you of anyone you know~?" The person in the three asked.

"You when drunk."

"Oh, come on, I'm not THAT bad."

"Correct, my apologies. You're worse."

"So you prefer Zoro over me?" The man pouted and stuck his tongue out at the snail.

"Who said I was interested in you in the first place?"

"Remember that time a few weeks ago when we-"

"Alright, alright, I get it."

"Heh."

"Shut up."

* * *

After the crew had stopped laughing (And almost suffocating to death) they all made Zoro spun the bottle, which landed on Nami.

"Truth or dare? (In bed.)"

"Dare!" ("In bed.")

"I dare you to throw a bag of money into the ocean. In bed."

Nami's bloodcurdling shriek gave cats all over the grand line seizures.

 **"NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"** ("In bed.")

"You have to do it. (In bed.)" Zoro stated, devoid of emotion.

Nami started sobbing, grabbing a sack of Berri and dragging it towards the beach. Damn, she was giving the thing a freaking eulogy!

"You've always stood by me, money...even back when I just met Luffy. We've been through thick and thin, all the way to the new world! Now Zoro just expects me to throw you away like an old friend!" ("In bed.")

"Hey, Chopper." ("In bed.") Brook called.

"Yes?" ("In bed.")

"Are you trained in phycology?" ("In bed.")

"No." ("In bed.")

"Pity." ("In bed.")

 **"I HEARD THAT, YOU MONEY HATING BASTARDS!"** ("In bed.")

She scattered the money in the waves before walking back and glaring at Zoro, who had another bag in his hand.

"What are you doing?!" ("In bed.")

"We need kindling. (In bed.)"

 **"NOT WITH MONEY, YOU PHYCO!"** ("In bed.") (That sounded very wrong O.o)

Zoro ignored her and dropped it right in the fire.

Everyone froze, expecting Nami to go apocalyptic mode and kill Zoro, but instead she frothed at the mouth and collapsed.

"Reacted better then I had expected her to. In bed."

Sanji had to be restrained by Franky, Brook, and Luffy to prevent him from murdering Zoro.

"Revenge. (In bed.)" The swordsman said simply.

The man in the tree snorted and the transponder snail smirked.

Since Nami was unconscious, Franky was the one who got to spin the bottle; it landed on Usopp.

"Truth or dare, Usopp?" ("In bed.")

"The mighty (yet still pretty scared) Captain Usopp shall now pick...dare! No! No! Wait! I meant truth!" ("In bed.")

"Too late, now I get to dare ya! Heheh!" ("In bed.") Luffy grinned.

 _"Nooooo..."_ ("In bed.")

"I dare you to carry around Chopper on your head!" ("In bed.")

"Oh, that's it? Ok." ("In bed.")

"Hey, what about me?!" Chopper protested. "I don't wanna!" ("In bed.")

Usopp picked up and placed the (surprisingly light) animal on the brim of his hat.

"No! No! This is abuse, you hear me? ANIMAL ABUSE!"

"In bed."

A few people chuckled awkwardly.

Then Chopper transformed into monster mode and crushed Usopp, who still somehow managed to get a hand out from underneath the huge creature and spin the bottle, which landed on Franky.

"Truth-" ("In bed.")

"Dare! I'm no coward!"

"In bed."

"That too." ("In bed.")

"We didn't need to know that," ("In bed.") Sanji muttered.

"Um..." ("In bed.") Usopp didn't really have any ideas for a good dare. Damn his idiot mind. "I dare you to tell us if you modified your ENTIRE front half...Like, EVERYTHING...Including THAT..." ("In bed.")

"Well ya, of course," Franky stated simply. "And now that these 2 years have passed I'm even more SSSUUUPPPEEERRR!"

"In bed."

"I wouldn't know."

Everyone winced, not really wanting to imagine that.

(The saying 'That really grinds my gears' can be applied literally to Franky O.O)

* * *

 **To be continued in the next chapter!**

 **Actually, I have the next 4 written down already, I just need time to type 'em up! :D *people throwing confetti up in the air and pretending to be happy when they really dont give a shit about me or my writing***


	2. Chapter 2: Shanks and Mihawk

**Yay! I got to chapter 2! (Seriously though, the humor gets better when the Warlords come in) Now, on to the warnings!**

 **WARNING! WARNING! This chapter contains yaoi threesome smut, non-con, and cursing! I wouldn't describe it as heavy smut, but not light either, more like a medium. (I like saving the good stuff for oneshots, sooooo...)**

 **YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!**

 **Enjoy! (You can skip to the next chapter if you don't like smut)**

* * *

A few hours later after some of the most awkward, perverted, creepy, and innocent questions and dares later, The Straw Hats finished the game and decided to look around the island they had been stranded on.

Zoro had begun to walk off alone when Nami ordered Luffy to attach himself to the swordsman as if he were meat. So he wouldn't get lost, totally not for the fangirls or anything.

Luffy complied so now Zoro was stuck with a living backpack, who, for some reason, seemed to be trying to eat him.

Well then.

The swordsman and now backpack (Luffy edition) passed under a tree which rustled suspiciously and then started talking.

A talking tree? What kind of island was- oh wait, never mind. it was all ok. Just some person up there with a transponder snail listening to everything they said. Nothing weird there.

WHAT WHAT?!

Luffy (backpack edition) gum-gum rocketed up the tree, barely missing someone who fell backwards with a surprised yelp.

Said someone fell on Zoro, knocking them both to the ground.

"OH MY GOD HE'S SO CUDDLY!" The person who fell on the swordsman screamed, clutching Zoro like if he didn't then Warden Magellan would give him his...ahem...condition.

"What the hell are you doing?" Zoro tried to get the man to get off of him. "I cant breathe, let go!"

"No! You're cuddly!"

"I dont care! Get off before you kill me!"

"Nooooo...Hawky, make him stop!"

"Don't drag me into this..." The voice came from both the transponder snail and from behind the duo on the floor. "I come to this island at your request, only to find you drunk and trying to rape my former pupil, Shanks."

"MIHAWK?!" Zoro shrieked, voice rising an octave higher then usual. "How long have you been listening?!"

"Long enough to hear your perverted humor."

"Nonononono...I swear its not how it looks!"

"Of course." Mihawk said sarcastically and Shanks pouted.

"You never told me anything about this, Hawky..."

"Told you about what?! Nothing happened!" Zoro and Mihawk shouted.

"Never mind that, come hug Zoro! HE'S SO CUDDLY!"

"Don't you fucking dare." Zoro warned.

Mihawk just looked from Shanks, to Zoro, to Shanks, to Zoro again. "No."

"If you dont hug him then Ill start cuddling with YOU!"

Mihawk paled.

"Better yet, kiss him or Ill hang on to you everywhere you go, even warlord meetings!"

The greatest swordsman in the world almost fainted at the thought. "Forgive me, Zoro..." (At this point Zoro signaled Luffy to run, which the rubber man did.)

Shanks moved behind Zoro, resumed cuddling him, and the green haired man actually began shaking as Mihawk approached.

"Mihawk, I swear to Eneru, if you dare-"

He was cut off as Mihawk slid a finger under his chin and tilted his head up to look into his eyes. "I am Not bringing a drunk Shanks to the Warlord meeting I have tomorrow, so just be quiet and lets get this over with. Just be grateful that he didn't demand anything more, because I would have done it."

Zoro's mouth fell open and he tried to protest, but Mihawk crashed his lips against his pupil's.

The younger swordsman tried to pull away but was stopped by two things. Shanks, who was still hugging him from behind, and Mihawk, who's hand had tangled itself in Zoro's short, green, locks, holding them form to keep the younger man in place.

Zoro's eyes were squeezed shut as Mihawk attempted to deepen the kiss, nipping his bottom lip softly to request entrance to his mouth. The younger refused, clenching his jaw stubbornly.

Shanks noticed and smirked, deciding to help Mihawk out with the stubborn man. Instead of nuzzling against his back he now raised his head to his neck, blowing softly on the shell of his ear and biting it lightly right after.

Zoro shuddered at the feeling. _'Bastards...'_ He thought angrily as he felt his pants beginning to get tight.

Shanks nipped at his ear softly again before turning his attention to his neck, trailing his tongue down until he found a spot that made the swordsman shiver like before. He bit the spot harshly, making Zoro gasp.

Mihawk seized the opportunity to force his tongue into his student's mouth and beginning to explore the cavernous space; mapping out a mental image of it.

Zoro groaned softly into Mihawk's mouth, drawing a smirk from the older swordsmen. The younger cursed himself for making such an embarrassing sound, and silently swore not to do so again. Mihawk and Shanks seemed to like the sound, so if he stopped doing things they liked that would be great. (Note the sarcastic tone.)

Shanks wrapped his arms around Zoro's chest, nuzzled his neck lovingly, and chuckled softly. "See, Mihawk? This isn't so bad now that you're both enjoying it~"

Mihawk glared at his 'friend'. "Technically, this is blackmail."

"Technically, this is rape." Zoro piped up angrily.

"Calm down, nothings even been done to you yet." Mihawk pointed out with an eye roll.

"Yet? YET?! What do you mean- hng!"

Zoro moaned loudly as Mihawk rubbed the tent in his pants, the friction only serving to turn him on even further.

"THAT is what I mean by 'yet'." The Warlord said as a little smirk played its way across his lips. His hands slipped down to Zoro's pants and slowly, teasingly, began pulling them off.

At the same time, Shanks had untied the red sash worn around Zoro's waist and pulled his coat off, sliding his hands around to trail them over his chest. He seemed to be rather sensitive there, an amused red-head found out when he pinched one of his nipples and received a nice little whimper in return. Shanks alternated between rolling one of the hardened nubs between his thumb and other, getting a few soft sounds to fall from the swordsman's mouth.

All of this was going to be horrible for Zoro's health.

Mihawk had succeeded in pulling Zoro's pants off during the time when Shanks was teasing his front, and eyed the shameless hard-on he sported with another little smirk. His hand ghosted over the inside of his thigh and up to his length as he leaned forward to claim Zoro's lips once again. He gripped the green haired man's length just hard enough to provide that delicious friction that the younger so greatly desired and slowly began to pump his hand up and down.

Zoro bit his lip hard enough to draw blood in order to prevent any more of those sounds from escaping him. Shanks noticed and turned Zoro's head towards him, pausing from his teasing to lick the blood off before resuming his ministrations, this time paying extra attention to that spot on his neck.

Mihawk ran his thumb over the head of Zoro's length, pressing onto it softly and shattering whatever resolve he had to keep quiet as a wrecked moan was ripped from him. The pleasure he was feeling was being converted into bolts of heat that were traveling straight down to his groin, which made his half-lidded eyes haze over with a misty lust.

The look Zoro was giving Mihawk was just so innocent, so beautiful, that it would be a lie if he said that at the moment he was annoyed with Shanks. If he'd known that he could get the younger swordsman to look this way, he would have done this ages ago-  
No. He was not doing this for his own entertainment or pleasure, he had to keep that in mind. For now he just had to focus on getting this over with and maybe punching Shanks in the face after.

"Hnn...Ha...M-Mihawk.." Zoro gasped out, a flush adorning his cheeks and his knees shaking with the strain of holding himself up. "Stop with this...ngh...already."

From behind, Shanks couldn't help but grin at how weak the green haired man sounded and redirected his attention towards keeping him standing as Mihawk helped him finish. True, he had forced the 2 swordsman into this and would most likely get his ass kicked for that, but he had gotten what he wanted and would just keeping rubbing that in their faces, as he usually did when drunk.

Drunk Shanks was dangerous.

Very, very, dangerous.

Mihawk noticed that the boy was very close now. He was shiny with sweat, shuddering and gasping at every soft touch, as if it was magnified tenfold, and the length in his hand was dripping precum. It was quite obvious that Zoro didn't have much experience with things like this if a hand-job was all it took to bring him this close to release.

He flicked his wrist just enough so that his thumb would graze the slit and that was all it took for Zoro to snap, shouting his release as a stream of white liquid burst from his cock. The younger man road out the waves of pleasure washing through his body until, at last, he fell limp in Shank's arms, gasping for breath.

Shanks whipped off his cloak and used that to clean Zoro off, quickly dressing the younger man and setting him down under a tree. (THAT tree.)  
Zoro didn't even have the strength to protest at the moment, so he just let the red-head do what he wanted.

Once he was done with the young swordsman, Shanks walked over to Mihawk, and abruptly received a slap in the face.

"Hey!" He protested, rubbing the spot where he had been hit. "What was that for?!"

His only reply was a seething glare as the swordsman turned on his heel and walked away, probably to get ready for the Warlord meeting he had the next day.

* * *

 **I apologize for this chapter being so short, but hey, can you see Mihawk going any farther then that with Shanks around?**

 **I didn't think so.**

 **Maybe with only him and Zoro, but I feel like he wouldn't let anyone ELSE 'defile' his student like that. (You know, except for himself)**

 **Aaaaanyway, I apologize for any OOCness or stupid mistakes!**


	3. Chapter 3: Warlords And Alcohol

**Whooo! New chapter! Guess which characters are showing up in this one! The AWESOME ones! (*Cough* Mihawk, Doflamingo, and Crocodile *Cough*)**

 **But seriously though, enjoy!**

 **Apologies in advance if you like Jinbei, he doesn't show up for reasons.**

 **Disclaimer: I DONT OWN ONE PIECE**

 **Warnings: Perverted humor, cursing, and Doflamingo**

* * *

All the warlords sat around a large, golden, oval shaped, table; well, all but one. Tragically, Jinbei had been eaten by a cannibalistic whale while he was swimming to the meeting, so he wouldn't be able to arrive. Everyone ELSE was there though, which that in itself was amazing.

There were 10 chairs around the table, 4 on each side and 2 at each end. (Just thought you should know.)

Mihawk was leaning back in his chair, legs propped up on the table, hat pulled over his eyes. If you were to count clockwise from the chair at the left end, he sat in chair #10. To his right was Doflamingo, perching on the table like some retarded, predatory bird in spot #9. In spot #8 there was Crocodile, trying to convince the woman next to him, Boa, to switch spots so that he wasn't next to Doflamingo, who was shamelessly flirting with him at the moment.

Boa, on the other hand, ignored Crocodile, and daydreaming about Luffy as usual. Oh her handsome, brave, sweet, kind, gluttonous, to be married to her soon, (hopefully) Luffy...

Everyone else isn't important, just know that Garp and Sengoku were at the heads of the table and the remaining 2 Warlords sat in seats 3 and 5.

Now that everyone was ready and here, Sengoku could start the meeting.

"I've gathered you all here today to-"

Garp stuffed a cookie in Sengoku's mouth and continued the Fleet Admiral's sentence. "To play-"

Sengoku covered Garp's mouth. "Ignore Garp, his entire family is fucked up. We're here to discuss- Oh for the love of god, Mihawk! Stop trying to pluck Doflamingo!"

Mihawk retracted his hand with a smirk, and when Crocodile turned his head, stuck the feathers in his hair. Doflamingo noticed and chuckled approvingly. Some of the other Warlords snickered, trying not to alert Crocodile to the pink in his hair.

Sengoku sighed. Warlords.

"To discuss rising threats." He said quickly. Wow, he had gotten the topic out within 5 minutes. This was progress.

"Rising threats?" Kuma inquired.

"Yes, people such as-" He was interrupted AGAIN by Crocodile's furious scream.

"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU PUT IN MY HAIR, DOFLAMINGO?!"

"Fufufufufu~ It wasn't me, Croco-chan!"

"Oh really?" Crocodile asked sarcastically. "What other Warlords wears a coat that makes him look like a retarded, colorblind, parrot?!"

"Aww, that's hurtful, Croco-chan!"

"Someone PLEASE switch seats with me."

"He did say please." Garp joked, stuffing a cookie in Crocodile's mouth. "Shh, let Sengoku talk." He was in a cookie stuffing mood.

Sengoku rubbed his temple, trying to fight off a headache that was coming on. "Yes, thank you, Garp. Anyway, as I was saying before SOMEONE interrupted... We'll be talking about the Supernovas, now knows as The Worst Generation. They- Boa? Boa? Ugh, someone please wake her up."

Boa had fallen asleep and was muttering thins quietly. Everyone quieted down to listen to what she was saying. (Because what Boa dreams about is interesting, of course.)

"Oh Luffy... You really want me to shower with you?" Boa whispered softly, letting out a rather girlish giggle after, a blush on her cheeks. (Oh, ok then. Sleeping Boa's dreams ARE interesting. Who knew?)

Moriah spat out his tea all over the table. "Straw Hat?! She's dreaming about that idiot?!"

"Just because he kicked your ass doesn't mean that you should hate him, fufufu~" Doflamingo smirked at the other Warlord.

"Straw Hat Luffy defeated Crocodile in Alabasta." Kuma pointed out, and instantly Doflamingo scowled.

"I'm going to kill him..." He growled. (What an hypocrite.)

"Stay out of my business." Crocodile glared at Doflamingo with a clearly unamused look on his face. No, it was more of an 'I'm going to kill you soon' look then anything else.

Sengoku snapped. "ALL OF YOU, SHUT UP!" He shouted. "WHAT WILL IT TAKE TO MAKE YOU ALL BE QUIET FOR **ONE** MEETING?!"

Everyone stopped what they were doing at once. Even Garp stopped chewing his cookies, which left him looking like a chipmunk.

Doflamingo raised his hand and Moriah snickered. That had to be the most polite thing the pink Warlord had ever done. Sengoku pointed at him with an expression that made it clear that if this was something stupid that was going to waste their time, he would live to regret it.

"How about we play a game?" He offered.

"Fine." Sengoku snapped. "What do you have in mind?"

Kuma accessed his memory banks and listed a few games that the others might be interested in.

"Drinking game."

"Hell no." Sengoku refused. "Not dealing with drunk Warlords.

"Beer pong."

"No alcohol." (In the background, Doflamingo pantomimed crying.)

"Spin the bottle."

"There's only one girl here, not that it would bother SOME of us." He looked at Doflamingo who grinned.

"Board or card game."

"Fuck no!" All the Warlords shouted in perfect unison.

"Truth or dare."

Sengoku looked at everyone, who all shrugged. (Except for Boa, who was still sleeping. She muttered something about Luffy and rolled off her chair.)

"Fine." He said with a sigh. "So we just start with someone and move on from there?"

"How about we make this a little more interesting?" Mihawk suggested, after a lot of urging from Doflamingo. "Whoever chooses dare has to take a drink of wine. Truth takes a sip of coffee."

"That's a great idea!" Garp exclaimed. "You'll all be bouncing off the walls in no time!"

"You and Sengoku wont be joining us in this...activity?" Mihawk questioned, raising an eyebrow.

"Nope!" Garp confirmed happily, eating his cookies again. "But you'll be starting us off!"

"Us? *sigh* Very well. Doflamingo, truth or dare?"

"Truth! Fufufu~ Ask carefully!"

"Have you ever slept with someone of your own gender?"

"Yup!" Doflamingo was strangely happy.

All eyes turned to Crocodile who glared at all of them. "It wasn't me!"

"Not yet, Croco-chan!" Doflamingo promised. "But soon!"

Crocodile paled. "Oh god, no..."

Doflamingo turned to Moriah. "Truth or dare?"

After a moment he replied, "Truth."

"Are you considered overweight?"

"Fuck you."

"No thanks. Just answer the question."

"Yes."

Garp laughed into his mouthful of cookies, which was the tragic end to most of Sengoku's paperwork. Not that the Fleet Admiral could complain, he hated paperwork.

"Crocodile, truth or dare?" Moriah had a good idea for both of them, so regardless of which one he chose, the results were going to be awesome.

"Dare."

Moriah laughed evilly, which kinda sounded lame. "I dare you to go jump in the pool!"

Did I mention that they had a glass wall on their right that had a door that led outside to a HUGE pool? No? Sorry. Well they did, and it was 65 feet deep so that all the Warlords, even the super tall ones, could enjoy it with the right floatie.

Crocodile shrugged (Don't be fooled, inside he was screaming) and went outside, intending to jump in the shallower, 5 foot deep section. As he walked past the deeper section he began taking off his coat, not wanting to get the expensive material wet.

Doflamingo wolf whistled. "Taking the shirt off too, I hope!" Poor Crocie was getting sexually harassed.

Moriah sent out his shadow and before Crocodile had taken off his coat, pushed him into the deep end of the pool. Being a devil fruit user, he promptly started to drown. Good job, Crocie. Doflamingo rolled his eyes and stripped out of his own coat.

"I'm coming, Crocie!"

 _'I'd rather drown...'_ Crocodile thought as he heard a splash above him.

Doflamingo drifted down to Crocodile (Who was already 25 feet down at this point) and grabbed his collar.

Then realized he couldn't swim either.

"Aaaaand there goes another one!" Garp laughed gleefully.

Eventually, Mihawk dove in and dragged the 2 of them out of the pool. He was the once assurance that people (Probably) wouldn't drown. Not very reassuring.

They all dried off, Crocodile sent a dirty look at Doflamingo, and the game continued.

"Truth or dare?" Crocodile asked Mihawk.

"Both. Do your worst." (Can he do that? Well, he's Mihawk and we all know that Mihawk can do whatever the fuck he wants.)

"Fine." Crocodile grinned in a way that unnerved Mihawk. "Who is the last person or people you had sex with? Describe them and if we guess who they are, tell us."

Kuma blinked in shock (Which was the equivalent of a normal person screaming and rolling around in shock) and stared at Crocodile, who had a knowing smirk on his face.

Doflamingo couldn't have been more proud.

Mihawk's mouth dropped open and silently, everyone else in the room thought: _'This is gonna be good...'_

"2. Males."

Doflamingo had just taken a drink of his wine, so when Mihawk spoke he laughed so hard he spit it all over the table.

Kuma and Moriah's mouths were hanging open in shock. NO ONE would have thought Mihawk had THOSE tastes.

"Don't get the wrong idea, it was blackmail." The Swordsman said.

"Fufufu~ Even better!" Doflamingo howled with laughter. Whatever poor marine heard his laugh ran for cover, because when Featherbutt laughs it usually means something painful is happening to someone.

"Description." Crocodile reminded the raven.

"Green hair, 4 scars,* swordsman, stubborn attitude. Red hair, 3 scars, swordsman, one arm, incredibly annoying."

"So you have a thing for...swordsmen...eh, Mipo?" Doflamingo questioned with a smirk.

"You make awful puns." Mihawk glared at the blonde.

"So were you bottom?"

"No! And why do you even care?!"

Doflamingo shrugged. "Was one of them...Eustass Kid**?"

"What. On. Earth. No!"

"Red-haired Shanks?" Moriah suggested.

Mihawk nodded and put his head down on the table, covering it with his arms.

Crocodile laughed, (Which scared everyone because that man rarely laughs) "Im guessing that the other was Pirate Hunter Zoro?"

Another tortured nod from the swordsman, who took his sword, Yoru, off his back and poked Garp.

"What is it, Hawkeye?"

"Truth or dare?" He mumbled into the table.

"Im not playing."

"I dont give a flying fuck; truth or dare?" (Mihawk cursed? O.o Who knew?)

"Dare then, if you're going to be so stubborn."

"I dare you not to eat any more cookies today."

 **"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"** Garp's tortured scream was only heard by dogs. (Their ears bled for weeks.) "I shall have my revenge! From now on, I will stuff cookies in all of your mouths at every opportunity! I shall start now!"  
Garp ran around stuffing cookies into everyone's mouth.

Crocodile simply spat the cookies out of his mouth and took a deep drink of wine.

Mihawk took the cookie out of his mouth and threw it back at Garp, but missed horribly. (It landed in Boa's hair.)

Doflamingo ate it.  
He just ate it.

Boa couldn't do anything, obviously, because she was asleep. Duh.

Garp had to climb a freaking ladder to get to Moriah and Kuma, but on the plus side he had an over sized cookie to stuff in their mouths.

"Oh damn, which one of them did I give the poison cookie to?" Garp asked himself. "I know ONE of them was poisonous, but only if you eat it..."

Doflamingo choked and ran to the bathroom to throw up. ("Im too beautiful to die!")

Once he came back, they continued.

Garp walked over to Boa and shook her awake.

"What do you want, you filthy man?!" She shrieked, killing off those dogs from earlier in her anger at being awoken from her dirty dream.

"Truth or dare?"

"You missed it, we're playing truth or dare!" Doflamingo explained. "You pick dare you drink wine; truth, coffee!"

That was strange, Boa still hadn't noticed the cookie in her mouth, (It dropped into her wine glass) but when he reached a hand up to slick back her hair, she sure as fuck noticed the one up there.

"WHO DID THIS?! WHICH ONE OF YOU INFERIOR MEN HAD THE **AUDACITY** TO DO THIS?!" She shouted.

Everyone pointed at Mihawk, even Mihawk.

Boa did her yoga pose, er, I mean extreme look down, (Doflamingo and Garp (Creep) nosebleeded) and said: "Well, lucky for you, I'm very preoccupied at the moment and dont have time to spare on killing you!"

Mihawk shrugged and returned to his normal sitting position, hat over eyes.

"Truth or dare?" Garp asked again.

"Humph, you deserve neither, but fine! Truth."

"Who would you consider the ideal man?"

"Oh!" Boa was obviously pleased,, made obvious by the sparkles in her eyes. It looked like a fairy had barfed on them, and no, not the morning breath fairy. (That little bitch...)  
"Dark hair, piercing eyes, wears a hat, super powerful, and has a sense of pride that cant be beat!"

Everyone turned to Mihawk, who looked kinda freaked out.

"Ooh, I hope to marry him soon~!"

Mihawk's face right now: ಠ_ಠ

"Um, Boa? Sorry to burst your bubble, but I dont want to get married any time soon." Mihawk apologized from under his hat.

"Ya, he's gay." Doflamingo added.

Boa cocked an eyebrow at the swordsman. "What on earth does this have to do with you? And since when were you gay?"

The men blinked in confusion for a few seconds before remembering Luffy...Oh.

"Well I have a better idea then playing this boring game!" Boa declared. "A mix between this and 'Never have I ever!' Someone says something they haven't done, and whoever has done it has to take a sip of, like, coffee or alcohol or something. (Navy notice: Kids, if you are under 18, dont drink. If you are older then 18, dont drink and drive) Whoever has done said thing must be truthed or dared something either about the others who have also done it, or that they all do!"

Everyone had to admit that that sounded like a pretty epic idea, but no one said that out loud. (Boa's ego needed no more boosting.) Instead, they just shrugged approvingly.

Doflamingo had just one thing to input. "For every shot you take, one item of clothing goes!"

Well then.

Who put HIM in charge?

Boa was obviously the one to start them off. "Never have I ever raped someone."

Doflamingo laughed and took a shot, removing his left shoe. Mihawk also drank and took off his hat.

"Very well! Even though I never thought Mihawk would rape someone... I'll truth you! Who have you 2 raped?"

"Roronoa Zoro, though technically Shanks joined in/started it and blackmailed me to do as well." Mihawk explained for the second time.

Everyone now turned to Doflamingo, super curious about what his answer was going to be.

"Trafalgar Law."

Garp spit out his cookies. "You mean the Supernova and replacement Warlord who took Jinbei's place but didn't show up yet?!"

"Did I hear my name?" The voice came from the doorway, and lo and behold, Law was standing there, arms crossed and a smirk on his face. (He obviously hadn't heard the 'rape' part.)

Doflamingo cracked up, clapping a hand over his mouth in a vain attempt to muffle the noise. "Just in time, Law!" *Laughter* "We just started playing a little game!" *More laughter* "care to join?"

Law raised an eyebrow. "Alright. How do I play?"  
Sengoku quickly explained and Law took his seat.

It was decided that Doflamingo was to go next.

"I have, at one point, liked the navy."

Boa, Kuma, Moriah, Mihawk, Crocodile, Law, and Garp drank.

Wait, Garp?

Oh well, blame the cookies. They must have been drugged or something.

Boa took off an earring, Kuma took off a glove, Moriah took off his...Im just gonna call it a tie, Mihawk took his sword off his back, ("That's not clothing, Mipo!") Crocodile took off his hook, (Doflamingo gave up) Law took off his hat, and Garp didn't do anything because technically he wasn't playing.

"I dare you all to go stand in the shallow end of the pool."

"Oh come on, Doflamingo!" Moriah protested. "That was my dare!"

"Shut up and do it!"

"Unoriginal bastard..."

Moriah and Kuma stepped in, but the water barely came up to their ankles. It wasn't enough to do very much.

"Is this supposed to hurt us?" Kuma asked, but received no answer.

"Mihawk stepped in, dragging Crocodile and Law behind him.

Crocodile was thrashing wildly, doing his best to avoid being pulled into the water. He had had it with this pool and with water related dares.

"No! No! I've had enough of pools! Damn it, I wont even be able to look out the glass of my bananawani tank!"

"Shut up," Mihawk ordered, tossing him in the water.

Crocodile sank to the bottom of the pool and sat there, angrily blowing bubbles.

Law on the other hand, just accepted his fate to play this game with a bunch of idiotic Warlords. Any chance he could run for it? Thoughts of escape were sadly banished from his mind when he touched the water and went limp. Thankfully, though, Mihawk decided to be nice and keep Law's head above the water.

Garp was a WHOLE other disaster.

HE thought it would be a good idea to majestically swan dive into the deep end of the pool.

Except that the 'majestic swan dive' was more of a fucked up belly flop.

A loud _CRACK_ was heard and Garp screamed, "Ow, my back!" and started drowning.

Why and how was he a navy hero again?

After everyone had been saved or walked out of the pool, Law was chosen to continue.

"I have never kissed anyone."

Crocodile leaned over to whisper to Doflamingo, "Didn't you say you raped him?"

"Yes, but that doesn't mean I kissed him, fufufu~"

"Creep."

Boa, Doflamingo, and Mihawk took shots.

"Ha! Croco-chan, you loser!" Doflamingo grinned, poking Crocodile in the cheek repeatedly. He took off an earring, Boa took off a shoe, and Mihawk took off his belt.

"Pose."

"Excuse me?" Boa seemed confused.

"I dare all of you to strike a pose as if you were fighting." Law smirked.

Oh.

Well THAT wasn't awkward AT ALL.

Boa held her arms out, fingers forming a heart as if she was about to shoot her love-love beam.

Doflamingo lifted a hand up and curled his fingers, actually ready to slash anyone who grinned.

Mihawk had it worst. Since he couldn't use his sword, he was stuck posing AS IF he had it. So basically he was posing to strike with a sword, but empty-handed.

"Great, now hold those poses."

"For how long?" Mihawk asked in an annoyed tone of voice as Moriah laughed hysterically.

"As long as I want you to," Law replied, leaving the room and coming back with a camera transponder snail. A quick picture (And multiple death threats) later, he said, "You can stop posing now."

Boa was chosen to continue, but claimed she didn't feel like it at the moment and passed her turn to Kuma.

"I have never wrapped myself in a blanket and pretended to be a jelly bean slug."

Doflamingo and Law awkwardly took cups and drank as everyone else stared at them.

"I told you Doflamingo was insane," Boa reminded them all. "But no one listened to me."

Law threw his sword to the side, ("That's not an item of clothing!) and Doflamingo took off his coat.

"Im not sure I want to know the story behind this..." Sengoku muttered, facepalming.

"Don't ask." Law inched away from Doflamingo. "You don't want to know and I dont want to recall it."

"I'm curious, so I'd like to know." Kuma's way of saying 'I picked truth, bitches, so tell me; NOW!'

Law groaned. "Please change it-"

Garp shoved a cookie in his mouth.

"Mrpht thrm frmk?!" (What the fuck?!)

"You missed the great cookie stuffing, didn't you?" Mihawk asked.

"Thrm WHMPH?" (The WHAT?)

"That explains a lot, now allow me to explain why Law and I drank!"

"MRPH!" (NO!)

"Those cookies might be poisoned by the way, fufufu~!"

"MRPH MF FRMKNG GMD!" (OH MY FUCKING GOD!)

"Now, how did it start again, Law? Was it two years ago? I cant quite remember, heh..."

"Strmp rmt frmkn nmw, Drphmngw! Nd gry Grp tn gmt ws cwookws ouma mph!" (Stop right fucking now, Doflamingo! And get Garp to get this cookie out of my mouth!")

"No, it's fine. The cookie matches your hat."

"Frmk yw!" (Fuck you!)

"I did once, fufufu~!"

Law choked on his cookie.

"It was 2 years ago, maybe a little more, something like that. Law came to visit-"

"Ywro knmphd mr!" (You kidnapped me!)

"Same thing. Anyway, he wrapped himself up in a blanket-"

Law finally choked the cookie down ("Finally learned to swallow, Law?") and started screaming random death threats at Doflamingo until Mihawk tackled him around the midriff and knocked him to the ground with a hand over his mouth.

"Let him speak." He told Law, who was doing everything he could to break free. (Like Crocodile in the pool.)

"Awr ywr frwkn mrzy?! Nd iw owly mrphed mrslph um il aw bwkt bwks Ie trd trphll orw yrw bd nd gtrngld!" (Are you fucking crazy?! And I only wrapped myself with you blanked because I tried to roll off your bed and got tangled!)

"True, I should have chained you up with seastone."

"Yrw awr a rwpt pwvwt wt crwpy flsh, yr wr trwt rwt?!" (You're a rapist pervert with creepy fetishes, you know that right?!)

"Well it's kind of implied when your Devil Fruit is called the 'String-String Fruit' and can make copies of yourself, control people, and cut anything. Fufufu~"

"Kmrky bwstd..." (Kinky bastard...)

* * *

 **Yay! I got another chapter up!**

 **This one took so long to write, but it was worth it! ^.^**

 **To make up for the previous chapter being short, I made this one slightly longer then the usual.**

 ***: He has 2 on his ankles from when he tried to cut himself out of Mr. 3's wax**

 ****: A reference to 'One Picots: The Yaoi Randomness Guide' by 12tailedninja-demon**


	4. Chapter 4: Bad Flashbacks

**Poor Law, but we're not through with him yet! Or with the Warlord meeting, actually...**

 **Now, by a show of hands, who thinks Garp is crazy? All of you? Makes sense.**

 **It's weird. When I read smutty fanfiction I'm all like 'not embarrassed by this at all' then I try writing it and become all 'Holy heck this is so perverted' while turning red. XD**

 **WARNING: Remember when Doflamingo said he raped Law? Well guess what Law flashbacks to this chapter! :D Seriously though, be careful. Non-con, sex, a set of seastone handcuffs, cursing, perverted jokes, Doflamingo, and OOC characters.**

 **DISCLAIMER: As usual, I own nothing ^.^**

* * *

-(As mentioned up there^ Law now flashbacks to about 2 years ago)-

Law was still on Sabaody Archipelago. He, Kid, and Luffy had just finished dealing with the navy outside of the auction house, and with the Pacifistas. It was hard enough for the combined crews of the Heart and Kid pirates to take down just one of those things, so he wasn't too surprised when he heard that 3 of them and 2 high ranking navy officers had wiped the Straw Hats out. Or so the rumors went.

Most other Supernovas had left the island at this point, and he was one of the last ones remaining. Or perhaps the last, if Hawkins had managed to leave with those injuries of his. He was planning on leaving as well, and had ordered his crew to go get their submarine ready while he collected whatever belongings he had from his hotel room. He was on the way there now, but still had a long way to go from his current position.

As Law walked, his eyes kept darting around, looking for anyone else who wasn't supposed to be on this island. Admiral Kizaru was one thing, but the Pacifistas and Bartholomew Kuma? If there was one Warlord near a Navy base, there were usually more, and there was one Warlord in particular that Law really didn't want to meet up with right now. Hopefully that specific one was on his island, being a kind and loving king (Ya right) to his people while doing a crap ton of illegal things behind their backs...

As he passed by a small group of people, he caught a little part of what they were speaking about, and slowed down his pace to listen in. What was that they had just said? It sounded a lot like 'Another Warlord is there.' Oh please no...

"What do you mean, 'Another Warlord is on this island?'" One asked another, lowering his tone and looking around as if checking for someone or something that might pop up any moment. "Who?"

"I saw The Tyrant leave, and guess who came right as he left?" The one who had spoken first asked his companions.

"Don't keep us in the dark!" One of the women said harshly. "Tell us already!"

"The Heavenly Demon, Donquixote Doflamingo!" The man declared, grinning widely. "This certainly IS an interesting day for anyone on Sabaody, dont you guys think?"

No. No, no no! Not him! Damn it, he had to get off of this island fast, and before that featherbrained idiot spotted him! If he was seen now, or worse, captured by the Warlord, this would ruin EVERYTHING! If only he and Kid had finished off the Pacifista faster!

"Do you want to know something else?" The first man said, grin still on his face. "I heard he was looking for someone specific when he came here!"

"And how would you know that, eh?" His companion questioned him, raising a skeptical eyebrow.

"When he first walked ashore, he turned to someone on his crew and said, 'I do hope he hasn't left by now. It would be a shame to come all the way out here just for him only to find out that he left moments earlier! I do hope that Admiral Kizaru hasn't scared him off yet!' Then he laughed. Proof enough for you?"

"Ya, ya..."

Law paled, his grip on his weapon tightening until his knuckles turned white. That bastard had come here looking for someone, and he was willing to bet his life on that 'someone' being him. This was worse then the Warlord just coming here for something random. He was being looked for now, which would make not being noticed by Doflamingo much harder, especially with some of the Donquixote pirates here too.

No longer interested in anything the small group had to say, he broke into a run, wanting to leave the island as soon as possible. The docks were in the direction he had come from, so that must be where the Warlord had landed, but that was also where his ship was. There was also no way that Doflamingo would just leave his ship unguarded, which meant he would have to find a way to sneak past it. Hopefully his own vessel was submerged and the symbol covered.

He covered distance much quicker, now that he was running. Well, along the way it had turned into more of a sprint, but that wasn't important at the moment, not with his objective in sight. He had almost reached the hotel he was staying in, and that would provide him cover for a short while as he acquired his belongings. Law honestly would have just left them and headed for his ship once he heard that Doflamingo was here, looking for him, but was stopped by the fact that he had some very important things in his possession.

All of a sudden, he felt a heavy weight collide with his back with enough force to knock him to the ground, his weapon flying from his grip and landing a few feet away.

"Found you~" A voice teased as a hand found its way around the surgeon's throat, cutting off his air supply. "That was actually pretty easy, with you running in a clearing with no cover. Did you know I was coming? Fufufu~"

Law's face was pressed against the ground, so he couldn't see who it was doing this to him, but he recognized that voice well enough. He opened his mouth, trying to shoot back a torrent of insults, but found himself unable to speak. On top of that, he was quickly starting to feel the effects of not having oxygen. His vision was turning black around the edges and he was growing light-headed, but he just couldn't move his body to get the Warlord off of him.

"Fufufu, want to say something, Law? I'm afraid it'll have to wait until later, but dont worry. Ill have you making all sorts of noises soon enough~"

Law's eyes widened and somewhere inside himself he found the energy to try and wiggle out from underneath the Warlord. It was easier said then done, and just served to amuse the man sitting on top of him.

"So eager," He teased, pretending to misread Law's movements as something else. "But for now, you just have to go to sleep..."

 _'No, you pink bastard, I will NOT lose consciousness like this, not with you on the same island as me! Despite the fact that it sounds so tempting...So_ _calming...A simple escape...'_

With that, the surgeon's struggles stopped as vision went completely black and he went limp from lack of oxygen, prompting a chuckle from the man above him.

"How cute."

* * *

Law woke up to find himself in a very familiar room, what was this place again? His mind tried to form coherent thoughts, but found itself still not working as the surgeon would have wished. He paused for a moment to look around, trying to remember where he knew this room from-

Oh, right! This was the hotel room he was staying in on the Sabaody, but why was he in here? If memory served, he had been knocked to the ground by Doflamingo and choked until he lost consciousness, so what would he be doing here? Was that set of events simply a ludicrous dream that came from worrying about the Warlord too much? It seemed so.

He attempted to sit up, but his arms were stopped by something. Looking up at where his hands were resting above his head, he saw that they were chained together by a pair of handcuffs that had been wound around a bar-like decoration at the head of his bed prior to being closed around his wrists. Judging from how weak he felt, they were also made of seastone.

"Fuck..." It seems that that had in fact, NOT been a dream. Still, what was he doing in here, and where was the idiot who brought him here?

"How amusing that that was the first thing to come out of your mouth when you woke up." A voice came from the corner of the room, where non-other then Doflamingo was standing. Honestly, who did you expect? Kid? **(Sorry KidxLaw fangirls, not yet. YET.)**

Law shot the Warlord a seething glare, but that only served to widen the grin on his face. "What the hell do you think you're doing, Doflamingo?" He hissed angrily.

"Standing in a corner?" The feather-clad man offered. "My apologies, I didn't know you considered that rude."

"You know that's not what I meant!"

Doflamingo held up his hands in mock surrender. "Sheesh, fine. I missed, you! How does that sound?"

Law snorted. What an obvious overstatement. It wasn't like the Warlord missed him personally as much as he missed his body. "Right. You 'missed' me. Well, now that you have seen me, would you mind fucking off?" It wasn't like him to curse, but he was really tired of that featherbrained psycho.

"Oh come on, dont be that way!"

"Be more honest then."

"Do you want the honest truth?"

"Go ahead. I know what it is, and I know I wont like it either."

Doflamingo laughed. Law certainly was his favorite plaything. Always so denying and feisty, always trying to get away from him... It only made things so much more interesting, especially when he managed to get the surgeon to show some emotion on his face. He was so quiet and stoic, that one, even during sex. (With most people, anyway. Not with Doflamingo, oh no.)

"Alright then. I want to fuck you."

Law tched in annoyance as he sent the Warlord another seething glare. He should not have expected anything else from the man, not that he ever did. Still, this was going to be a pain in the ass to deal with. Quite literally if Doflamingo's mood turned sour. This was almost always the only reason the older man sought him out for, and the surgeon absolutely detested it.

"My crew is waiting for me, how about you go find some whore to satisfy yourself with and leave me alone?" Law suggested, pulling against the chains, trying to break free even though he knew that wouldn't happen.

"Oh but Law, you're so much better then a whore," Doflamingo moved forward and kneeled on the bed, cupping the side of the surgeon's face with his hand. "And much more beautiful, too~"

Law jerked his head out of the Warlord's grip with a sneer of disgust. That idiot failed to realize that he DID NOT give a damn about his opinion on him, and to prove that point, he raised a leg and snapped it upwards with as much force as he could in this weakened state, hoping to catch Doflamingo in the face, or at least somewhere that would leave a mark.

Sadly for Law, the kick didn't have much power or speed behind it, allowing it to easily be caught by Doflamingo. The bastard still had his signature smirk on as he gripped his ankle harshly, which just made Law even more pissed off.

"Let go of me, you damn bird!" He demanded, gasping shortly after at the sudden shift in his position.

Doflamingo had pulled him by the ankle so that he was laying down completely, his legs spread apart. And of course he had taken advantage of that in the classic 'Doflamingo fashion' by straddling Law's hips and holding his torso down with his hands.

"Hey, don't look at me that way," He said in response to Law's hate-filled expression. "I let go of you, just like you asked! Fufufu~"

"You know that this isn't what I meant!"

"Well, you never specified anything, so I went ahead to take the order as I felt I should. You should be happy I'm even bothering to listen to you, Law!" Doflamingo reminded him with a smirk, hands crawling down to the hem of Law's shirt, sliding under it.

Law's abdominal muscles tensed at the cold hands running over them. He attempted to maneuver himself into a less vulnerable position, but the combination of the seastone, Doflamingo's weight, and his roaming hands that pushed him down if he tried moving made that impossible. Still, he had to be at least a little grateful that the featherbrained idiot didn't try and kiss him, like he did the first time. Law had punched him so hard after that one that the black eye took days to go away. Ever since then Doflamingo knew that kisses were out of the picture.

Doflamingo's probing hands ran over Law's toned chest, the cold touch sending little shivers down his spine as he top half of his body was explored thoroughly. They retreated momentarily, though only to pull his shirt off and toss it somewhere in the darkness. (How Doflamingo managed to do that with Law's hands cuffed was a mystery.)

One of the hands returned to his chest, ghosting over the skin and making it's way up to one of Law's nipples and pinching the hardened nub harshly, adding a little flick of his wrist that made a twinge of pleasure shoot down to the surgeon's cock. Doflamingo knew that playing with his body was a good way to pleasure the younger man, but the real way to turn him on was to talk dirty. For some reason that worked surprisingly well on Law.

"You're really fucking sexy, you know that?" He practically purred. "I'm really looking forward to fucking you until you cum. And you know what would be great? If your crew gets worried and looks for you here, then just stands outside that door listening to your sexy voice begging me to fuck you harder~"

Law clapped a hand over his mouth to muffle the moan he had been trying to prevent from escaping him as another bolt of pleasure shot through him. He hated the way Doflamingo could do this to him, turn him on so much without barely doing anything and just saying a few words. Despite the self control he usually had, the Warlord could always manage to get something out of him, always freaking push him to a breaking point...

Doflamingo's fingers twitched slightly and suddenly, Law felt his body cease to respond to him. A small hand gesture and he was forced to remove his hand from where it was covering his mouth, and replace it above his head.

"Come on, Law, I want to hear all those sounds you have to offer! Here I am, trying to make you feel good too, and then you go and try to silence yourself?"

Law opened his mouth to protest but Doflamingo cut him off by saying, "And don't you dare say that there aren't any sounds because you aren't enjoying this, your body is more honest then you are! Fufufu~"

With that said, Doflamingo reached down to cup Law's erection, rubbing the bulge through the fabric of his jeans. The action drove a moan from the surgeon, who's face was slowly but surely turning red with embarrassment.

"Seriously, Law. If that doesn't mean you're enjoying this, then please, tell me what it does."

"I-Im a male! It's only normal for my body to become stimulated like this if you insist on touching me in such perverse ways!" Law managed to get out before the Warlord repeated his previous action much more harshly, forcing another pleasured moan from his lips.

"Oh? But I was under the impression that if you don't like something, the body won't respond. To a degree, of course."

"Bullshit."

"Fufufu~ Law, are you saying that just to attempt to save your own dignity?" In one quick motion, Doflamingo got off of Law, ripped off the surgeon's pants and boxers, and tossed them where his shirt had gone a while earlier. "Because I don't think you have any of that left~"

"No! I- Ah~! Hng...Dofla- Hah~ D-Doflamingo! D-dont- Nhg!" Whatever Law was going to say was cut short when Doflamingo leaned forward and slowly, teasingly, took the younger's cock in his mouth, letting his tongue explore the foreign object in his mouth.

Despite what the Supernova thought, he mainly did this, not for his own please, but to get Law to unravel and come undone, all at his touch. It just pleased him so much to be the one to get the man into a vulnerable state, and it was just an added bonus that he got to fuck him. A big bonus, but still not the main reason. Right now, though, he wanted to get his little 'pet' to the point where he actually would beg Doflamingo to fuck him, which was what he was working towards.

Doflamingo noticed that Law's hand was once again covering his mouth, though much to the warlord's amusement, it was doing nothing to stifle the pleasured sounds escaping him. Giving the younger as teasing a smirk as he could at the moment, he returned to his self given 'task.'

He lowered his head to take more of Law in, pressing his tongue to the underside of his length as he did so, earning him a whimper from the man below him. Pausing for a moment to think how best to proceed, he mentally smirked and then continued. He drew his head back up until almost nothing was still left in his mouth and ran his tongue over the slit on the top of his cock before lowering his head once again and repeating the process.

These actions were unfamiliar to Law, who was used to a much harsher and more painful experience from the Warlord, so he wasn't used to this type of pleasure. It also didn't help that the seastone weakened him by a lot, so he could feel physical things more then he normally would have. He didn't even know how to react, not that he could control himself very much at this point anyway.

"Ha~! Hn..ah..ha..ha...Y-you bastard! Ngh~!" Law moaned out, throwing his head back against the pillows behind him. His breaths were coming sporadically now, and he was shaking his head from side to side as if trying to fight the pleasure off. A cute but useless gesture.

Doflamingo chuckled softly, sending vibrations down Law's cock. Now instead of simply bobbing his head up and down, he hollowed his cheeks and began to suck, instantly earning a broken moan from the surgeon who's hips thrust upwards, seeking more then what was being given to him at the moment. The warlord had to grip his hips and hold them down on the mattress to prevent him from doing that again.

He could tell that Law was getting close to his release now. His suspicions were confirmed when he heard Law say something that sounded akin to a warning before releasing into the Warlord's mouth. Doflamingo swallowed, tongue darting out to lick a white fleck at the corner of his mouth, and pulled away from Law, looking him over.

The Supernova's mouth was open, a thin line of saliva running down the side of chin. His chest was heaving as he gasped softly for air, attempting to come back down from the high that Doflamingo had just given him. His eyes had a spaced out look though, and they were still clouded with a haze of lust. It looked like this just wasn't enough for him.

"Have you...humiliated me...enough...yet?" He panted, lifting a hand up to brush the hair out of his eyes.

"Fufufu~ Not yet, my little Law. I promised make you beg for me to fuck you, remember?"

Law groaned and tossed an arm over his eyes. _'I cant believe this...Does he actually think he can make me do that?! Granted he's skilled with his mouth, but making me beg for him to...That's just absurd!'_ He thought angrily to himself.

Doflamingo took the opportunity presented to him by Law to flip the younger man over onto his arms and knees. The action earned him a pissed off "HEY!" from the surgeon, but he simply ignored it and reached into one of the pockets in his coat, pulling out a bottle of lube before tossing the pink, fluffy mass aside so that it wouldn't get in the way.

The sight of the bottle and what this idiotic position meant made Law pale as he snapped his head forward to face the wall again. He hated himself so much right now, that he just didn't know how he would deal with it after this was all over.

Doflamingo squirted a small amount of the substance onto his fingers and positioned them at Law's entrance, slowly pushing one of them in until it was buried to the hilt. A small noise of discomfort was all he got though, so he waited a bit for him to adjust before pushing a second digit in. Now with 2 fingers inside him, he began to probe his inner walls, curling his fingers in a 'come here' motion, looking for that special bundle of nerves.

Law, in turn, dropped to his elbows and stuffed his face in a pillow, using it to muffle whatever little escaped him. Feeling something warm across his back, he was tempted to turn his head up and look before realizing that it was just Doflamingo trailing kisses down his spine. It seemed the featherbrained jerk had forgotten that he hated things like that.

All of a sudden, Doflamingo found something and pressed his fingers to it. Law cried out in sudden pleasure, arching his back in response to having his prostate stimulated so suddenly.

"Fufufu~ Found it~" Doflamingo purred, adding a third finger, thrusting all 3 of them against that same spot that made Law cry out moments worked like a charm, because now the surgeon didn't seem to be in control of himself anymore. (No devil fruit powers used this time) He was letting slip little gasps and moans whenever his prostate was hit, and if Doflamingo purposefully avoided it, he thrust back on his fingers in just the right angle to make him hit it again.

As one would expect, he was fully hard again from the treatment he was getting. Of course he was far beyond the point of caring about that now, though.

With absolutely no warning, however, Doflamingo suddenly pulled his fingers out of Law, who groaned at the sudden loss of touch.

"What are you doing? Just finish this already!"

Doflamingo shook a finger disapprovingly and shook his head with mock disappointment. "Now come on, Law. Do I really have to tell you this a third time?"

Law grit his teeth together, knowing full well what the Warlord wanted, but not wanting to lower himself to the level of begging. "And if I refuse?"

"Then we both have a problem." Doflamingo shrugged as if they were discussing something like not having enough pancakes in the morning. **(Don't ask)** "But I don't think you'll refuse, will you?"

Law turned over onto his back to face the older man. Multiple thoughts ran through his mind, many of which were places to hide a ten foot tall dead body, (Ya, we all know who he was talking about) but eventually he sighed and resigned himself to total humiliation.

"Fine..." He grumbled, trying to think of a way to say it that would not completely humiliate him.

"Well? I'm waiting."

Nothing. There was no other way to say it.

"P-please fuck me..." He managed to choke out, face turning beet red with shame.

"Oh come on, I know you can do better then that, my little slut~ Just saying the words wont do, I want you to genuinely beg me to fuck you, to use your body as my plaything..." Doflamingo knew he would eventually coax the words out of him, Law would give in eventually.

Law couldn't take it anymore. His body and been pushed much too far now, his resolve had crumbled, and these was nothing else he could do but do as the Warlord demanded of him. That psychopathic asshole.

"Please, Doflamingo-sama! I want you to fuck me until I scream loud enough for the entire island to hear! Do whatever you want! Kiss me, kill me, fuck me, just PLEASE! Use me already!" He begged.

"That was so fucking perfect~" Doflamingo purred. He pulled his length out and positioning himself at Law's entrance, sheathing himself in one quick thrust.

Law yelped in pain as he felt his insides stretching to fit the Warlord's size. While he was distracted with that, Doflamingo pulled his legs up and over his shoulders, leaning over and practically bending the younger man in half.

Doflamingo, being in the good mood that he was, waited for the Supernova to adjust to him. After a short while he got a small nod from the younger man, which he took to mean that he was 'permitted' to start moving. He started very slowly, barely moving his hips, but even that got a small whimper from Law. He didn't know if it was one of displeasure or not, so he continued with the small movements until Law said something into the pillow. Doflamingo's grin widened (somehow) as he heard the words.

"If you're going to fuck me, do it like you mean it, you stupid bird!"

"Fufufu, well don't blame anything on me if you're going to be so insistent!"

Doflamingo completely changed his pace to comply with Law's request. Abandoning the 'Ill be careful not to hurt him' approach, he began thrusting into him at a quick, hard, pace, taking great care to repeatedly hit that special bundle of nerves inside the surgeon with every thrust.

The repeated waves of pleasure that were flowing through him with every thrust made Law moan. All rational thought was being forced from his mind as his nerves were set aflame, and he didn't dare try to answer Doflamingo because he didn't trust himself to open his mouth without making more embarrassing noises then he would have preferred. At a particularly hard thrust against his prostate that practically made his eyes roll back in his head, he arched his back in pleasure and let out a loud moan.

"Ah~! R-right there!" He gasped out, begging for a repetition of the action. Doflamingo once again complied with the younger's request, changing the angle he was thrusting at. Instantly, Law became a hot, moaning mess in his hands as the Supernova's body found the pleasure almost too much to handle.

Law hated to admit it, but Doflamingo really knew how to fuck. The man was bringing him into such a state of humiliation but making it so pleasurable that it forced him to enjoy it. And above that, the bastard HAD actually gotten him to beg, multiple times at that! He just couldn't help himself, not when Doflamingo was doing this in a way that felt so good, but had the potential to be so much better...

"Anything else you'd like to request, Law?" Doflamingo questioned, grinning down at the Supernova.

Law simply turned his head away from the flamingo and attempted to give an angry stare to the wall, but found that to be increasingly difficult with every moment that passed. Not to mention the erotic expression on his face, which didn't help much either.

Doflamingo could feel himself slowly working towards his limit, and sensed that Law too was going to release soon. As his impending orgasm drew closer he found himself thrusting into Law at a sporadic pace, and moments later the surgeon came. His walls clenched around Doflamingo's member, driving the Warlord to orgasm as well.

Breathing heavily, Doflamingo pulled out of Law and grabbed something to clean the 2 of them up. When he was done he got dressed and gathered up the surgeon's clothing, tossing it to where he lay, staring at the ceiling. With his business here concluded, he opened the door and walked out, meeting the shocked/terrified expressions of 2 males (and a bear) who he wasn't familiar with. Mentally shrugging his shoulders, he continued walking towards where his ship was docked.

This had been a successful trip indeed.

* * *

 **(Now, because I'm super sorry about not being able to write this sooner, a little bonus section! :D )**

* * *

Shachi, Penguin, and Bepo were starting to get worried. It had been a long time since their captain had told them he was going to collect his belongings from where they had been staying, and he still had not returned yet. He had promised that he would come back to the ship quickly, and that if he didn't they shouldn't go looking for him because he would be fine. Still, the 3 of them wanted to go look for him, but at the same time they didn't want to disobey their captain's orders. He had some powerful enemies...

"Do you think we should go?" Penguin asked nervously. They had just gotten off the submarine and onto land, but he was still having second thoughts. If it turned out that Law was alright, he would be really upset and disappointed that they disobeyed him and didn't trust him enough to think that he would be alright.

"Of course we should go!" Shachi shouted. He really wanted to go search, he had no qualms about anything. "What if the captain is in trouble and waiting for us to go help him? What will happen if we dont go?!"

"You have to trust in the captain more..." Bepo said softly. He was scared, but ready to go along with whatever his 2 crew-mates decided to do.

"I DO trust him! I just want to make sure he's okay!" Shachi told the bear. "Now if the 2 of you don't want to come with me, fine! But I'm going!" With that, the Heart Pirate marched off.

"Do you even know where you're going?" Penguin shouted after him.

"Back to where we stayed! That's where the captain was headed!"

Penguin sighed. Of course Shachi would just run off without waiting. He supposed that he couldn't let his friend just go like that, so he grabbed Bepo's paw and ran after the red-head. He had a feeling that this was not going to end well, and his feelings usually ended up being correct. Please not this time. Please. Not when the captain was involved.

They caught up with Shachi quickly, and the 3 of them spread out, looking around the path that Law would probably have taken to get to the hotel. For a long time they didn't find anything, and slowly they began to get discouraged.

"Are you sure that the captain went this way?" Bepo asked.

"Positive!" Shachi answered, though with less enthusiasm then the last time the bear had asked him the same exact question.

"But-"

"Shachi! Bepo! Get over here, I found something!" Penguin shouted.

At the sound of their crew-mate's fearful and urgent-sounding voice, the 2 Heart Pirates ran to him as fast as they could, only to stare in horror at what was laying on the ground at Penguin's feet.

Law's sword.

"The captain would have never left this behind of his own free will!" Penguin cried out, falling to his knees in front of the weapon. "Why is this here?! What if someone killed him?! The captain can't be gone..."

"Get a hold of yourself, Penguin!" Shachi ordered his friend. "The captain can't be dead and you're scaring Bepo!"

True to what Shachi had said, Bepo was curled up in a little, white and orange ball on the floor, sobbing pathetically and muttering "The captain is gone... The captain is gone..." Over and over again.

"Am I the only one who has ANY faith in the captain?" Shachi asked the 2 of them, yanking them to their feet. He grabbed the weapon and continued walking in the same direction they had been heading in this entire time. "Think about it. If he was dead, there would probably be blood everywhere and the signs of a fight! Besides, who the heck would be strong enough to beat him?"

His words made Penguin and Bepo brighten up a little bit, but Bepo muttered, "Then why was his sword on the ground?" softly.

Shachi had no answer. He only continued dragging them along till they reached the hotel, up the stairs to the 4th floor, room 435. That had been the one their captain had stayed in.

"Is he going to be in there?" Bepo asked.

"Of course." The red-head assured him. Testing the door handle, he found it locked and frowned. Had the captain already come and gone?

"Shachi, Bepo, am I the only one who hears that?" Penguin questioned, jerking free of his friend's grip and pressing his ear to the door. Supposedly, the walls were soundproof, but the door? Not so much. His comrades followed suit and they all fell silent, straining their ears to hear something.

A wracked moan reached their ears, followed by a dark chuckle and then a shout of...protest?

Their eyes widened when they heard a very familiar voice shouting, "I-Im a male! It's only normal for my body to become stimulated like this if you insist on touching me in such perverse ways!" Followed by yet another moan.

"Is that the CAPTAIN?!" Shachi hissed to Penguin under his breath as Bepo backed away from the door and curled into a little ball again, this time by the wall.

"I-I think so..." Penguin replied. "But what's going on?!"

"Im not sure, but at least we know where he is and that he's not dead."

"At least he's not dead? HE'S GETTING RAPED!" Penguin hissed loudly, only to have his friend clap a hand over his mouth to silence him.

"Quiet!"

"We need to do something!"

"What do you suggest?"

"I don't know, but something!"

"IS there something we can do?"

"Of course there is!"

The argument continued for a long time, only pausing a few times to keep Bepo from crying. Penguin was of the opinion that they needed to save the captain no matter what, but Shachi told him that if someone managed to kidnap the captain, then they would be too strong for the 3 of them to handle. 2 If Bepo didn't stop crying.

They were interrupted by their captain's voice again, this time begging, "Please, Doflamingo-sama! I want you to fuck me until I scream loud enough for the entire island to hear! Do whatever you want! Kiss me, kill me, fuck me, just PLEASE! Use me already!"

All 3 of the Heart Pirates paled considerably. Penguin jerked away from the door as if it was on fire, and fell unceremoniously on his butt. Shachi turned away, clapped a hand over his own mouth this time, and started hyperventilating. Bepo whimpered softly and continued crying.

"H-he w-was just b-begging someone to...to...u-use him...A-and n-not just anyone...D-D-Doflamingo, one of T-the 7 W-warlords of the s-sea..." Shachi managed to gasp out, his eyes wide with fear. For their captain and for themselves.

"C-Captain?" Penguin muttered softly, staring at the door, eyes wide with horror. He was broken at the thought of his captain doing something like that and being used by another. They couldn't even do anything to help him because the person in there with him was...was...Doflamingo... "Captain what are you...doing?"

Maybe it was the fact that their captain was helpless at the hands of the man he hated most. Maybe it was the fact that said man was defiling their captain in the worst way possible. Maybe it was the fact that their captain had been lowered enough that he actually begged to be used as his enemy's plaything. Maybe it was all three. Either way, all 3 Heart Pirates felt completely broken. Their captain was suffering through this and there was absolutely nothing they could do to help him in any way. Not only that, but they each felt responsible. Maybe if they had left to look for him earlier they could have prevented this!

A long period of time passed with the 3 of them just staying immobile and horrified, clutching to whatever little thread of hope they could reach.

That was before the door creaked open, and a tall figure stepped out. He looked down at them with a puzzled expression, but it was gone in an instant, replaced by a pleased smile.

"I had a feeling about that..." He chuckled and continued walking, pausing only to tell them, "Tell your captain that I enjoyed our little meeting."

There was a moment of silence before Penguin shouted, "YOU BASTARD!" And grabbed his weapon, only to find his movements restricted. A dark laugh came from the Warlord as he glanced back at the Heart Pirate.

"I don't suggest you do that. Unless, of course, you think your captain would like more of my 'company.'" His threat was obvious, and Penguin noticed that. The Heart Pirate grit his teeth, but put his weapon away with an awful feeling of helplessness settling over him.

"Fufufu, your crew is loyal to you, Law!" The Warlord shouted in glee.

"Don't you dare touch them!" Came a weak cry from inside the room. "I swear to god, you so much as scratch them and I'll kill you!"

"Brave words from a man in your position!" Doflamingo laughed, turning on his heel and leaving.

Now free of the man's strings, Penguin was the first to rush into the room where his captain was, followed by Shachi and then Bepo. They were greeted by the sight of him naked, chained to the bed with seastone handcuffs, and looking completely disheveled. His hair was a mess, most of it in his eyes. He was covered in a sheen of sweat, breathing heavily and still had a little bit of some white substance on him.

Once he saw his crew, Law turned red and attempted to do something to shield himself from their gaze. He was humiliated and close to broken, he didn't want to be seen like this.

"Why are the 3 of you here?" He asked them. "That asshole didn't attack you, did he?"

"No, we're fine." Penguin informed him. "And we came here to help you!"

"But we didn't know how!" Bepo sniffed sadly.

In the meantime, while his comrades explained, Shachi got to work on the cuffs. There was no key, so he had to use something long and slender to get them open. When he did, he pulled them off his captain and threw them aside. Now free of the seastone, Law managed to sit up and grab a thin sheet, throwing it over his lower half.

"Im touched by your concern," Law admitted. "But what would you have done if he decided to attack you?"

"I dont know, but I tried to attack HIM." Penguin said, still angry about not being able to do anything.

"You what?! You fool, he could have killed you!"

"I dont care, captain! He humiliated you, the least I could do was cut him!"

Law went red at his first mate's words. "H-how much of it were you here for?"

"All of it, I think. But captain, how long has he been doing this to you?! Why didn't you tell us? We could have helped you!" Shachi told Law.

Law pulled the blanket closer to his thin frame. "No you couldn't have..." He mumbled softly, mainly to himself rather then his crew.

"Why? How long has this been going on?!" Shachi demanded to know.

"Shachi, if he doesn't want to tell us then don't force him to! Can't you see this is bothering him?!" Penguin tried to stop his companion.

Law was silent for a moment before deciding that he had come far enough with his crew to trust them with this. It was all he was willing to say about his past right now. "15 Years."

"F-fifteen?" Penguin tried to absorb the information. Their captain had been suffering in silence for 15 years at the hands of that asshole, and here they were, doing nothing about it.

"Penguin, I know what you're thinking. But you cant go after a Warlord."

"But-"

"Don't worry, alright? I have a plan."

"A plan? To do what?" Bepo asked, gathering up Law's clothes and handing them to him.

The surgeon took them gratefully and started getting dressed. "To get rid of him and one of the Emperors. It will take time, though." He informed them while slipping his hoodie over his head. He took his hat and placed it on his head, and took his sword from Shachi. "Come on now, I think it's time we leave this island."

* * *

 **Once again, I apologize for not getting this out sooner!**

 **I'd love to hear what you guys think about the story so far, and if you have any suggestions about anything!**

 **Oh hey, this was the longest chapter so far! Just noticed that it was 7,144 words. :D**

 **Thanks for reading! ^.^**


	5. Chapter 5: Boa Fangirls Over DoflaDile

**I have returned, my lovelies!**

 **And I really have to say thank you to everyone who's following, or reviewing, or all that stuff! You guys make me really want to continue writing, even if I don't always have the time!**

 **Now I know that some of you are probably waiting for the Supernovas all like 'Holy fucking god, where are they already?' and don't worry, they come in soon.**

 **DISCLAIMER: I obviously dont own One Piece or any of the characters :D**

 **WARNING: Some more smut in this chapter, so don't say I didn't warn you! Also, OOC characters. This entire fic is OOC, why do I even bother with this warning anymore? Also, fangirl Boa, which is almost as dangerous as a drunk Shanks. (Mihawk will confirm that a drunk Shanks is the most dangerous creature in the known universe)**

* * *

Law shuddered.

"Ready to calm down?" Mihawk asked, taking his hand off the surgeon's mouth.

"Hn."

"Ill take that as a yes."

He let go of the newest Warlord and sat back down in his chair; Law did the same.

It was Doflamingo's turn now. Oh great, most likely something perverted knowing the fluffball.

"I have never not had kinky sex." (I knew it)

Everyone but Law drank, poor thing.

Moriah took off another shoe, Boa took off her second earring, Kuma sat his bible on the table, ("That's not clothing!") Crocodile took off his scarf and vest, ("Oh, 2 items! That makes up for the hook, fufufu~") Mihawk took off his shirt, (*Nosebleed*) and Garp quickly stuffed a cookie in his mouth.

"Garp, go jump out a window."

"That's against the rules," Sengoku pointed out.

"He ate a cookie, that's against the rules too."

"Point taken." Sengoku grabbed Garp by the collar and tossed him out the closest window.

Now it was Boa's turn, and Garp climbed back inside.

"I've never been seme."

Crocodile, Mihawk, and Doflamingo, took a shot, (No other Warlord had either had sex or had only bottomed. *cough* Law *cough*) then Garp fell off his chair, high on cookies again.

Crocodile sighed and removed sighed and removed his shirt, (Doflamingo: *nosebleed*) Mihawk took off his second shoe because he loved his coat, and Doflamingo took off his other shoe as well.

Boa's inner fangirl came out and she giggled.

Bad things happen when Boa fangirls.

Run bitch.

RUN.

Mihawk acted according to the golden rule and hid under the table along with every other Warlord that could fit. (*cough* Not Moriah and Kuma *cough*) Boa wouldn't have any of that, though, and pulled Crocodile and Doflamingo out by their hair.

"Ow! Hey, Boa! Watch it!" Doflamingo hissed.

"Oh? Don't you want a dare with your 'Croco-chan?'"

"NO!" Crocodile shouted. (It was at this point that Sengoku quit trying to enforce the rules)

"Yes!" Doflamingo covered Crocodile's mouth. "He's ok with it too."

"MMPH!" Crocodile shook his head frantically.

"He said, 'Good idea.'"

Boa rolled her eyes. "Alright then, but before the dare I need to ask you a question. Who do you think would bottom in a relationship between the 2 of you?"

Crocodile choked on air when Doflamingo pointed at him.

"Ok!" Boa clapped her hands together happily, her fangirl half working overtime thanks to the alcohol. "There's a room with a king bed over there, Crocodile's topping."

Crocodile took one look at Doflamingo's shocked face and broke into a wide grin "THAT, I don't mind."

All the blood drained from Doflamingo's face, then he composed himself and said "No," with as straight a face as he could before running to the nearest exit. Boa caught him by the hair again (How does she do that? His hair is really short!) and promptly began dragging him back.

"Come on, Doffy~" Crocodile purred. At this point everyone turned to Law to see if he had switched their personalities, but he was as confused as everyone else. "What's wrong~?"

Doflamingo wasn't sure if he should be terrified or turned on.

Boa threw the pink Warlord at Crocodile, (It wasn't really a throw, it was more of a...flop? Not a throw.) who caught him in an under the arms bear hug and 'guided' him towards the room that Boa had ordered them into. "Calm down..." He whispered in Doflamingo's ear. "You wanted me, didn't you~?"

Doflamingo gulped and looked up at the other Warlord. "Well I never expected it to be this way, so-"

"You never specified that you would be topping, _Doflamingo_ ~"

The feather-clad man shuddered at the sound of his name rolling off of the older man's lips. "You're evil." He muttered, blushing and looking away.

"And you're a kinky pervert."

"Guilty as charged."

"Use your devil Fruit if you want, I don't particularly care. Though that could prove to be difficult."

"Oh really? And why would that be~?"

Crocodile lifted a sea-stone collar and spun it around his finger with a smirk. "Thank Boa. She has taken quite an interest in this." He nodded his head towards where the female Warlord sat, nosebleeding, and shooing them on with a hand.

Doflamingo raised an eyebrow at the sight of the...accessory. "And they say I'M the kinky one..." (Keep in mind that everyone else was still WATCHING and LISTENING to this.)

Crocodile kicked the door to the room open and 'ushered' Doflamingo through, (He had long since stopped struggling, though he might have been a bit nervous. Who knows?) then slammed it shut and threw him on the bed.

Boa waited a few second before dashing to the door and pressing her ear to it. She motioned for Law to join her, but he just said, "No thanks. I have no interest in listening to my former boss get fucked. Besides, why do you even have that room anyway?"

No one answered his question.

"You can blackmail him if you record it on that transponder snail of yours." Mihawk pointed out from under the table.

Within 3 seconds Law was pressed up against the door, transponder snail in hand. This was so much easier then kidnapping Caesar.

* * *

Crocodile climbed on top of Doflamingo, collar in hand. He wasn't sure if the other Warlord would appreciate having his powers restricted, and he didn't bother to ask. Instead, he simply yanked the other man up by his hair (People and Doflamingo's hair...) and clasped the leather thing around his neck.

"Oi, Crocodile! You could at least give me some warning before you do that!" Doflamingo reached up to hook a finger in it and pull, trying to free it from his neck. "What if I wanted to use my powers?" He have a pathetic little pout.

"Well then, too bad." Crocodile shrugged. "Now I'll be nice and give you a choice, how do you want to do this?"

"Ooh, someone's feeling generous today! Fufufu!" Doflamingo laughed. "I'm one for heavy foreplay, but I suppose that what we do depends on you too." Then he got an idea. "Hey, I'll do it however you want, but only if you take the collar off before we leave the room."

Crocodile raised an eyebrow. "I was planning to do that anyway. Heavy foreplay, huh? Fine."

Doflamingo's mouth fell open. He was NOT expecting Crocodile to agree to that so easily, let alone be 'fine' with it. Damn, if only he suggested playing this game at an earlier Warlord meeting!

Crocodile took advantage of Doflamingo's shock to grab his collar and yank him up into a kiss. It was rough and demanding, both men pressing their lips together, silently ordering more from the other. Crocodile nipped the younger man's lower lip, demanding he open his mouth, but Doflamingo was in a playful mood and refused. Of course since Doflamingo was wearing sea-stone, it was easy for Crocodile to take control. Entangling his one hand in the other Warlord's blonde hair, he yanked down roughly, making the younger gasp. With that, he forced his tongue into the other's mouth and promptly began mapping out the area, taking his time with each crevice that he found.

Doflamingo made a small, pleased noise in the back of his throat and wrapped his arms around Crocodile's neck. He opened his mouth farther and let the scarred man take control before shifting his weight and dragging himself down to lie on the bed with Crocodile on top of him. Sadly, he could only go for so long without air, and since the reptile had given him no warning, he had run out.

Crocodile had noticed that Doflamingo needed to breathe, but chose to ignore it for a short while and instead deepened the kiss even further. Moments later, the blonde pulled away, gasping for air.

"What was that for, Croco-chan?" He asked between breaths. "Were you TRYING to suffocate me?"

Crocodile noticed that his taunting grin was still in place and frowned. "Perhaps I should have." He commented, diving forward to latch his teeth onto Doflamingo's neck. He was going to wipe that infuriating smile off of his face today, one way or another.

Another low sound formed in Doflamingo's throat as he saw how into this Crocodile was getting. He attempted to unwind his hands from behind the other's neck and trail them down his chest, but a warning growl from Crocodile and a shift in the golden hook's positioning made him rethink that whole thing and keep his arms where they were.

Crocodile nipped and sucked at the spot he had bitten before licking his way up Doflamingo's neck and taking one of his golden earrings in his mouth. His tongue traced the metal in his mouth as his hand lightly brushed against the toned chest of the man below him, making it's way up to his nipple. Twisting the hardened nub sharply earned him a small whimper from Doflamingo, and a small twist of his hand made the younger moan softly, a blush slowly making it's way across his face because of the noise that he had just made.

"You're really that sensitive?" It was more of a statement then a question, but either way, the reptile's warm breath made Doflamingo shiver contently.

"But you seem to like taking advantage of that, eh, Croco-chan? Fufufu- AH~!"

Crocodile had answered Doflamingo's question by lowering his head and taking one of his nipples between his teeth, sucking at it while biting it non-too gently. His hand was taking care of the other nub, pulling and twisting it with the same rough manner as everything else he had done.

"C-Croco- Ha~ Ah.. H-hold o- UWAH~!" Doflamingo moaned loudly at one particularly harsh bite from Crocodile, who paused.

"Sensitive or do you just like the pain?" The reptile asked, raising a questioning eyebrow. "Or both?"

Doflamingo went even redder and turned his head to the side. His grin was smaller now, to the other Warlord's delight.

"If you don't answer then I think that I'll be forced to test out that theory." Crocodile bit down sharply again, eliciting yet another cry of pleasure from the blonde, who's grin dropped completely. He wasn't used to someone taking advantage of his sensitivity that way, and it made him feel more then a little exposed and helpless, especially with the sea-stone collar wrapped around his neck.

"Fufufu...It's both, Croco-chan. Though you take advantage of them so well that it makes me feel nervous!"

"Hn. Well it's too late to request a change. Remember, YOU'RE the one who asked for it to be this way. But the way you react like this makes me curious..."

"Oh? About what?"

"Would you make those same noises if I touched you," Crocodile traced the way down to Doflamingo's pants, the palmed the bulge forming in them. "Down here?"

The blonde Warlord made a small sound of pleasure at the sudden touch, even if it was through the fabric of his pants. "If you like them, I think that I can put a bit more of an effort into making them~" He purred softly, hooking a thumb on the top of his pants and dragging that side down past his hip with a seductive smirk.

Crocodile grinned and 'helped' Doflamingo get his pants the rest of the way off. With a quick movement, the pink article of clothing was off and dropped somewhere over the side of the bed. Crocodile had never been good at eye-measuring things, but he estimated that the blonde was...well...large. Large and extremely turned on. And on top of everything, the head was studded with a piercing, a prince albert.

"Why am I not surprised that you don't wear any undergarments under your pants?" Crocodile sighed and shook his head.

"I don't think that's what you're really surprised about, Croco-chan. Fufufu!" Doflamingo chuckled. "And didn't you want to know if I'd make any noises when you touched me there? Come on, are you really gonna leave me hanging?"

Crocodile rolled his eyes and used his hook to yank on Doflamingo's collar, pulling him up into another kiss. At the same time, his hand gripped the blonde's cock and began to pump him at a tortuously slow pace. The action made the other Warlord moan into his mouth and wrap his arms around his neck again. Still, he couldn't help but thrust his hips up, desperately trying to feel more then what Crocodile was providing. He knew that he was being teased right now, but it was torture to be so close to mind blowing pleasure, but to have your partner withhold it from you.

"Come on, Crocodile..." He whined pathetically, breaking the kiss.

"Come on, what?" Crocodile smirked evilly. "You're going to have to be more specific then that." With those cruel words, he turned part of his attention back to Doflamingo's neck. This time, when he drew his hand to the top of the blonde's shaft, he ran a thumb around the spot where the piercing entered the flesh, and instantly a loud moan ripped itself from Doflamingo's throat.

"AAAH~! Ngh..hah..Uwah! G-god, right around the piercing! Crocodile, please! I'm begging you, stop with the teasing or just FUCK me already!"

"Oh? But isn't this what you wanted?" Crocodile, now seeing where Doflamingo was most sensitive, purposefully avoided that spot. He wondered just how far he'd be able to push his fellow Warlord, and a sound of pure longing poured from the blonde's mouth as he was deprived of what he so dearly wanted. "Besides, you said that I could do this any way I wanted to as long as I removed your collar before we left the room, remember?"

Crocodile used his hook to pin Doflamingo's hands above his head. Another teasing motion with his thumb around the piercing and the blonde was writhing in his hands, the constant teasing becoming too much. Another pleasured sound left him, and he gave Crocodile the most pitiful look he could muster. "Please, please, _please_ , Crocodile! I'll do anything you ask, just PLEASE! I'm figuratively on my knees here!"

"On your knees, eh?" Crocodile looked at Doflamingo curiously. "And you'll do ANYTHING?"

The blonde nodded frantically, getting the message. You didn't have to be a genius to figure it out, and he was more then willing to do something like that if it meant that he would stop getting teased so cruelly.

"I don't think that it would be so comfortable in the middle of a bed as soft as this one, don't you agree?" Crocodile asked, retreating away from the younger man. Swinging his legs off the side of the bed, he looked towards Doflamingo expectantly.

Doflamingo followed and got of the bed, dropping to his knees before Crocodile. In his sea-stone weakened state it took him a few seconds to adjust to the weird sensations that came from moving. The reptile didn't give him time to adjust; instead he grinded his foot against Doflamingo's throbbing erection to get his attention. "Come on," He ordered. "Get on with it already. I have more important things to be doing then this."

"Hng..! Fufufu, I'm hurt, Crocodile!"

"Isn't that a shame?"

"Ok, ok, I get it. I'll get on with it."

Doflamingo removed Crocodile's belt and slipped his pants off, dropping them unceremoniously where his own pants had gone earlier. With that done, he turned his attention back to the raven's 'problem.' Without hesitation he moved forward, first to lick off the bead of pre-cum that had formed at the tip, and then to take the cock into his mouth. He fought to stop his gag reflex as he slowly deepthroated it and it brushed against the back of his throat.

Crocodile groaned approvingly and placed his right hand on Doflamingo's head, silently urging him to take more. His hook was positioned on the bed slightly behind him, and he put most of his weight on his left arm, using it to prop himself up as his fellow Warlord went to work.

Doflamingo, once he had gotten used to the size of the object in his mouth, began working up and down Crocodile's shaft, his tongue dancing around it whilst he did so. He noted the reactions he got when he tried different things and noticed that the raven was sensitive around the head of his cock, so he payed special attention there. Whenever his tongue trailed over the slit at the top, Crocodile made such cute little sounds. They encouraged him as well as gave him feedback on if the other man was enjoying it.

At a particularly hard suck around the base of his member, Crocodile bucked up into the blonde's mouth, and Doflamingo's hands moved to his thighs, holding him down and preventing him from doing that again. He could have easily given Crocodile the same treatment that was given to him and just resort to teasing until the raven begged, but that wouldn't have any positive outcomes for either of them.

Doflamingo looked up at Crocodile while he worked around his length, and the sight he was greeted with made his own cock swell. The older Warlord had his head tilted back, hair slightly messy with some strands hanging in front of his face, and his eyes were closed. His mouth hung slightly open as he panted heavily, and his brow was dotted with sweat. Doflamingo thought he looked absolutely ravishing.

He uncertainly removed his hands from Crocodile's thighs, unsure of how the raven was going to take this. His mouth retreated somewhat, allowing room for one of his hands to stroke the base of the other Warlord's cock. His second hand went down to his own member, attempting to alleviate the lust he was feeling by stroking himself off. He assumed that as long as he kept pleasuring Crocodile, he wouldn't mind.

He was wrong.

When Crocodile noticed what Doflamingo was about to do, he grabbed his arm, preventing him from doing just that. "Enough, Doflamingo." He ordered, pulling the blonde off of him. "I forbid you from cumming under anyone's touch but mine, am I understood?" Without waiting for an answer, he swapped places with the Warlord, turning him around and shoving him over and onto the bed.

Doflamingo braced himself for whatever was to come by getting up on his elbows, but he couldn't resist laughing. "Does this mean you claim me as yours, Croco-chan~?" He asked. "And does this position mean that you're actually ready to get serious about this and not just tease me?"

"Yes and yes." Crocodile answered. (Outside, Boa nosebleeded hard enough to have it make a huge puddle on the floor, and law stuck a finger down his throat, pretending to gag himself) He ushered Doflamingo's mouth open with his thumb, guiding 3 of his own fingers inside with an order to "Suck." Doflamingo obeyed and wrapped his tongue around each of the 3 digits inside his mouth, coating them well with saliva. When he was done, Crocodile removed them and positioned one at the blonde's entrance.

He pushed it in slowly, meeting no resistance from Doflamingo. "You've done this before?" He asked, inserting another digit and still not seeing any signs of discomfort from the younger man.

"Fufufu! Of course I have! Did you think I was some sort of virgin? That's hilarious!"

"No, I was just surprised that you let someone top you before."

"Let someone top me? No, not really."

"What do you mean?"

"All I'm willing to say at the moment is that clones can be very useful. Fufufu!"

"...I...I will never understand what goes on in that mind of yours, Doflamingo..."

"Don't bother trying. The best therapists in the world have tried and failed, so I don't think anyone will be able to!"

"Why on earth does that make you so happy?" Crocodile asked rhetorically before he rolled his eyes and inserted the third finger. With 3 digits now inside the other man, he scissored them, preparing the blonde.

"You really don't have to do that, I'm perfectly fine. Besides, I want something a little bigger then 3 fingers inside of me, and I'm not in the mood to wait for it~" Doflamingo commented.

"You demanding bastard..." Crocodile muttered, but he listened and pulled his fingers out, positioning his length at the other Warlord's entrance and pushing in slowly. Receiving a low moan of approval, he took it as a sign to thrust in completely. He made a content sound as Doflamingo's heat surrounded his cock, and took a few moments to let him adjust, but the blonde had other ideas.

"Come on, Crocodile! I'm not fucking made of china! I won't break if you handle me a bit roughly!" Doflamingo insisted, driving back upon the intrusion inside of him. "It's not even like you to be this gentle, especially not the way you started this off!"

"Rough? If you want that so badly, then let's see how rough you can handle, huh?" Crocodile drew back until he was almost completely out of Doflamingo (Who was having an 'Oh fuck' moment) before slamming back into him, eliciting a sharp cry of pain from the blonde. Now he was thrusting in and out of the younger man at a harsh pace, each time repeating the previous movement of pulling out almost entirely before thrusting back inside.

Doflamingo's body didn't know exactly how to process what was going on. There was a bolt of electricity that shot down straight to his cock whenever Crocodile moved, but at the same time he felt pain and pleasure, and these feelings were all rolled into one giant combinations that made his eyes roll back in his head and his jaw slack. He wanted to make some sarcastic retort to Crocodile's comment, but his voice and mind must have had other ideas because all he could do was moan, gasp, and clutch at the silk sheets covering the bed.

Then Crocodile changed the angle he was thrusting in and Doflamingo practically _screamed_ in pleasure and arched his back when his prostate was hit dead-on. Crocodile smirked when he saw that the blonde was reduced to a hot, moaning, mess now that he was repeatedly hitting the special bundle of nerves inside him with every thrust. The noises that Doflamingo was making were growing louder and louder with every passing moment, and Crocodile wouldn't have been surprised if everyone outside could hear them by now. He was stunned to find that he didn't really care.

Crocodile had been right, Doflamingo couldn't handle it like this. The intense pleasure shooting through him, the electricity lighting every single one of his nerves on fire, the pain, it was all just too much. He couldn't even keep up with it anymore. His forehead was pressed against the sheets and he had dropped from his position up on his elbows. Somewhere during this time his glasses had become a burden and he had taken them off, exposing his neon green eyes, which were currently half lidded with pleasure.

"Ha~! Ahh! Ngh..hah Aaa-! C-Croc- UWAH~! Nha! Ah~ Hng..hah- C-croc- HAh~!" That was all Doflamingo could manage to string together. If Crocodile kept this up then he was going to-

Doflamingo's eyes snapped open when he something warm teasingly stroke across where his prince albert was, and that was all it took. He screamed, actually _screamed_ in pleasure as he came, his inner walls clamping around Crocodile's length, and soon the raven climaxed as well, though not as loudly as Doflamingo.

Crocodile pulled out of the blonde and true to his promise, undid the sea-stone collar and set it aside. The moment that the stone left Doflamingo's neck, the Warlord pounced on Crocodile, fully intending to pay him back in full when there was an angry knock on the door.

"Crocodile! Doflamingo! What the hell is taking you 2 so long, get out of there already!"

Oh fuck, it was Sengoku. And he didn't sound to happy.

"I've had ALL THREE Admirals come to ask me about why you were screaming, Doflamingo! They thought you were being TORTURED, so can you at least TRY to keep the sex noises to a minimum?!"

Doflamingo let go of Crocodile and buried his face in one of the pillows, his shoulders shaking as he tried to muffle his hysteric laughter.

"I CAN HEAR YOU LAUGHING IN THERE, YOU DAMN FLAMINGO!" Sengoku shouted. "And you're not the only Warlord laughing, trust me...But seriously, that was SERIOUSLY DISTURBING!"

"FUFUFUFU! Since you liked my performance so much, maybe I should put on a little show for you next meeting, eh?"

"DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE-"

"I have a clone who would be more then happy to assist me! Fufufufu!"

"YOU'RE DISGUSTING! NOW GET OUT!"

"Aww, but I wanna fuck Crocodile now!"

To that, Crocodile silently hit Doflamingo on the back of his head with his hook. "Shut up or I'll pull out your prince albert, Doflamingo."

"Fufufu!"

Crocodile brushed back the hair that had fallen in his face, trying in vain to create an air of neatness. He automatically reached to straighten his shirt but remembered that he had taken it off previously and left it on the back of his chair outside. On the other hand, all Doflamingo had to do was put his glasses back on and pull up his pants to look the way he always did. Even his signature smirk had returned to his face, though he did looked slightly disheveled.

Crocodile grabbed the door handle and pulled the door open. (Note the word 'pull')

Law and Boa froze in the positions they were standing in, or laying in, in Boa's case.

Law's eyes trailed over Doflamingo, taking in his disheveled look. Then everything registered and he turned white and fainted. Boa just fangirl shrieked and rolled a round a bit.

Doflamingo shook his head with a cocky grin. "I should have known."

A quick glare from Sengoku and they were all back at the table.

Doflamingo was chosen to go next, but whatever he said was drowned out by a thunderclap, and then Mihawk's high pitched, terrified scream.

"Dude, what the fuck?" Moriah asked while everyone stared at the swordsman who had decided to take up permanent residence under the table. He was hugging his knees to his chest and shaking violently, the storm reminding him of THAT disastrous day.

Boa peaked under the table to check if Mihawk was ok, but couldn't keep a straight face and was shooed away by the tip of his sword.

"I think Mipo's traumatized." Doflamingo pointed out, trying to nudge the swordsman with his foot, but only received a slash from his sword for the effort. He jerked his leg back and proceeded to fall off of his chair onto the hard, marble floor.

"Ow..." He gasped. "Help me, Crocodile?"

Crocodile eyed the gash on his leg and rolled his eyes. "Bitch, that's a glorified paper cut."

"THE ALCOHOL IS TAKING AFFECT!" Garp exclaimed happily, doing some weird, happy dance...thing.

"Does this mean I can insist that whatever Doflamingo and I did was just a product of being drunk?"

"Yup!" Garp confirmed. "You can do pretty much whatever you want when you're drunk and just blame it on the alcohol!"

"Yahoo!" Doflamingo cheered. "Time to fuck a cow!"

"What the fuck? No!" Someone shouted.

"Boa's right over there if you need her." Crocodile said, nodding his head towards the empress.

"DID YOU JUST CALL ME A COW, ALLIGATOR?!"

"It's Crocodile!"

So far, the 5 Warlords who were feeling the affects of the alcohol were as follows:  
Mihawk: Scared drunk  
Boa: Fangirl drunk  
Crocodile: Angry drunk  
Law: Perverted drunk (You thought this would be Doflamingo, but ha! Jokes on you! Doffy's always perverted! No need to start the apocalypse by making him even worse)  
Doflamingo: Sensitive drunk

This was quickly turning into one of the best Warlord meetings ever, even Sengoku thought so.

And Sengoku NEVER liked meetings.

Was he drunk too?

* * *

 **I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! And if you like yaoi crack pairings, I suggest you check out "O** **ne Picots: The Yaoi Randomness Guide" By '12tailedninja-demon.' It's really awesome and I'm sure a lot of you would love it!**

 **Happy New Year, by the way! I hope everyone has an awesome 2016! :3**


	6. Chapter 6: Mihawk's Bad Day

**In thanks to everyone who's been giving me positive feedback (And because I'd hate to leave you all with a cliffhanger about Mihawk) here's the next chapter! :D (No smut in this one though, but soon!)**

 **Disclaimer/Warnings: I just give up with these**

* * *

Doflamingo had a plan.

Not a good plan, mind you, because he was drunk, but whatever.

"I have never been scared of thunder."

Mihawk grumbled under the table and took a shot, removing his precious coat. (Gollum: _Precious?_ Me: No! Shoo!)

Doflamingo's smile stretched across his face in anticipation of embarrassing his fellow Warlord. "Why are you so scared of thunder?"

"It's not embarrassing, you stupid bird. Just annoying."

"Talk." Moriah demanded.

Mihawk sighed and began.

 **-(The Epic Tale of a Fucked Up Day)-**

Rays of sun had just begun peeping through the black curtains covering Mihawk's windows. He was sleeping in his room, having returned to his castle a few hours ago to find a certain **2** inhabiting it.

The room's walls were black, the curtains covering the windows changing in color from red to black to gray. He had a king bed made out of mahogany, carved with intricate designs. The sheets were red and the pillows soft, plushy, and gray. (God damn it, Mihawk. Give me your room already. Also, are you a vampire?)

There wasn't much else in the room, or none that needed to be noted at this particular moment, but one will be important later. Just remember that.

As the ray of sunlight that had managed to get through his curtains slowly crawled up to his face, Mihawk lazily began to wake up. He opened his eyes and groaned at the sudden burst of sunlight assaulting them. Grabbing one of his many pillows, he mushed it onto his face and rolled over, trying to escape the evil beam.

Now no longer bothered by the light, he slowly began to drift off to sleep again, but was reawaken by a resounding crash coming from outside his room.

"Get back here, you devil woman!"

"Horohorohoro! You broke that vase; stupid, non-cute swordsman! And you were right near the old man's room too!"

 _'I'm not old!'_ Mihawk thought angrily, covering his ears in annoyance.

"YOU broke that, don't you dare try to pin the blame on me!"

"Horohorohoro! Your fault for chasing me!"

"You antagonized me!"

"You're not cute!"

"You're a which!"

"You're mean!"

"You're ugly!"

"You're evil!"

"You're a bitch!"

"You're a-"

 **"BE QUIET!"** Mihawk roared from his room.

The 2 voices quieted down and slunk away, still hissing insults at each other.

Behold.

His ' _guests.'_

Now that he was fully awake with no chance of sleeping again, he sat up and yawned, then noticed something was off and looked himself over. Seeing something that look like ink on his left arm, he lifted it to get a better look, and saw that something was messily scrawled there.

 _That was a fun party last night, I'll be waiting on my island if you want to do that again - Shanks_

Fuck.

Fuck.

Fuck.

What had happened?

Mihawk didn't remember this.

This was bad.

What had he done?

What had THEY done?

Shit shit shit shit shit shit.

He was going to be hunted down now.

By the most dangerous thing in the world.

Drunk Shanks.

He was doomed.

His life was over.

Fuck.

 _'Calm down, you idiot!'_ He chastised himself. _'Just wash it off and pretend you never saw it and (Maybe) he wont try and rape you. It's all good." *Whimpering noises*_

Mihawk tried to get out of bed to get dressed, (Because all he was wearing now were basketball shorts. Don't ask how he got them.) but something went wrong and he found himself in a crumpled heap on the floor. (Legs over head in a **C** position)

His muscles had seized up and he had fallen the 5 feet off of bed, and on the way down hit the pole that his hat was on. Now his hat had floated down and the feather was in his face, tickling him. He blew it away angrily and sat up, placing his hat on his head with an angry huff. Reaching a hand up for the closest thing in range to pull himself up, he found something.

The bad news: It was the pole his hat was on previously, and it toppled over, hitting him squarely between the legs.

Mihawk made a sound that was a cross between a whimper and a scream of pain, so he sounded like a dying parakeet.

"Damn it..." He groaned, rolling over onto his side and curled into a little ball.

Zoro chose that as the ideal moment to run inside the room, a curious expression on his face. Seeing Mihawk curled up in a little ball on the floor wearing nothing but his hat and a pair of shorts made him raise an eyebrow. "Mihawk? I heard a parakeet being strangled, what happened?" He paused to look his teacher over and quickly managed to guess what had happened to him. A smirk crawled across his face as he tried not to laugh.

 **"OUT!"** Mihawk shouted, grabbing his sword of the wall and slashing at Zoro.

Zoro shut the door and sidestepped the shockwave quickly, so all Mihawk succeeded in was ruining his door.

A grinding sound was heard and the entire top half of the castle shifted to the side and fell, exposing the sky.

 _'FUCK. MY. LIFE.'_ The Warlord thought.

He had cut the damn building in half too.

"Aaaaaaahhhh!" A shrill cry cut through the air. "MY COFFEE!"

Aaaaand THERE was Perona.

Within moments she was floating angrily in the doorway and hurling various insults (And kitchen utensils) at Mihawk, who groaned inwardly.

Of course the sky had to pick that exact moment to turn gray and start raining cats and dogs.

No, seriously.

A cat hit a trash can and its screech could cut metal.

Well then.

There went half the stuff in the castle.

Whoopie. (*Sarcasm overload*)

"Damn Mihawk, this just isn't your day, is it?" Zoro grinned cockily. He had sneakily inched closer to Perona so her umbrella would protect him too. (She noticed and wacked him in the face with it)

"I don't care how bad this day is going, I want my coffee!" Perona screeched, throwing a pot at Mihawk's head.

Oh god.

And you know, since it was that kind of day, there just HAD to be lightning.

One little thing, though.

That lightning you heard about?

It hit Mihawk."

After a few milliseconds of excruciating pain, the Warlord fell back to the floor and a puff of smoke left his mouth.

"He's dead." Perona said. "And he has an afro."

Poor man.

A few seconds later, Mihawk rolled under his bed and started sobbing.

He was not dealing with this.

Nope.

"Help me..." He whispered, clutching his sword to his chest.

* * *

There were a few moments of silence after Mihawk spoke, and the Warlord's faces were priceless. Unfortunately I can't draw them here, so oh well.

Now, since only Mihawk drank, he was the one to go next. (Everyone was still sitting there in stunned silence, even Garp had stopped stuffing cookies in his mouth.)

"I have never had a hard time fitting through normal sized doorways."

Sengoku snorted. This was why Marineford had huge doors, about 40 feet tall and 20 feet wide. Mainly for Moriah, that fatass.

Kuma, Moriah, Doflamingo, and Crocodile took a shot.

Kuma removed his hat, Moriah got rid of his second shoe, Doflamingo (Who was running out of clothing) took off his belt, and Crocodile took off his as well.

Boa looked at Crocodile in confusion. "You have trouble fitting through normal sized doorways?"

"I'm 8'3", idiot."

"Oh, you're all so fabulous~! Of course my Luffy is still better~! Wait... Then how tall are the rest of you who drank?"

"22'7"." Moriah said. No one was really surprised.

"The real question is, how wide?" Doflamingo asked, but got no answer. "Oh, come on!"

"22'6". Did you count your hair too, Moriah?" That was Kuma.

"Fufufu! I feel ashamed! 10'0"!" Classic Doffy...

Boa hugged Crocodile. "Aww...He's so cute and short~!" (Doflamingo: "He's mine!" *pouts*)

"I'm still taller then you!"

"I'm 6'6", how about Law and Boa?" That was Mihawk from under the table, again. (Aww, so short compared to everyone else XD)

"Are you gonna live there?" Sengoku asked.

"Yes."

"..."

"6'3 1/4." Law said.

Everyone looked from him, to Doflamingo, then back to Law. Then Moriah whispered to Doflamingo, "He's like 4 feet shorter then you, how the hell did you rape him?"

"Magic~"

"I heard that!" Law shouted.

"Fufufu, na. Law's just talented."

"IM RIGHT HERE! STOP THAT!"

"I heard from Gladius that you're dating that red haired supernova. Kid?" (*Cough* Foreshadowing *Cough*)

"No I'm not! He's just as much of a flirt as you are!"

Sengoku facepalmed. How was it, that whenever Doflamingo was around, these conversations were imminent?

"Aww, Law and I are the shortest?" Boa pouted. "6'3 1/4"."

"You're still all pretty much freakishly tall, you know that, right?" Sengoku reminded the Warlords. (He was sensitive about his own height, why do you think he has that hairstyle? I mean, it could be because he has no dignity, anyone with a seagull on their head and a goat for a pet with a beard that matches yours has no dignity. Do he and Jyabura trade braiding secrets or something?)

There was a bit of an argument between the Warlords about who would go next; it was quickly settled when Garp jumped up on the table in a superhero pose and declared, "In the name of justice, I shall go next!"

No one argued.

* * *

 **Sorry that this chapter is so short compared to the others, but I really wanted to get Mihawk's little section out today :)** **The next one is going to be much longer, ad that's where Kid and Killer show up! (Shipping time~)**

 **Garp, I love you, but you need to lay off the cookies.**

 **Oh, and Law is pretty much traumatized by now, if he wasn't before.**


End file.
